Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Matter of the Heart

Proverbs 22:6  "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."

One of the hardest lessons in life, I think, is to allow yourself to be transformed and molded by God.  That means facing things that you might be doing wrong or could do better.  Isn't it hard to do that when pride gets in the way?  Our human side wants us to think that we don't need to change or that we are too good to change.  I struggle with this in many ways, but God has decided to break me in this area. 

For a while now Dan and I have wanted to take a different approach to parenting.  We realize that our anger has gotten in the way of our parenting because our kids are very young, active, and sinful in nature.  They are challenging and adding the third child has given us a tough time. 
We are on this journey with Dan's job for very specific reasons.  That is clear. I can sense that God has certain goals for us and things to teach us through our experiences while we are away from home.  We were supposed to do this trip.  One of the things God is revealing to us is how to take a very good look at our parenting style.  We have resorted to threatening and raising our voices to the girls.  We find ourselves reacting quickly and escalating when they do little things that don't deserve that kind of reaction. 

We weren't supposed to make a stop in Flagstaff Arizona just yet.  But we ended up talking to our friends Tom and Jenn while we were in the car on Saturday driving to California.  It just so happened that Tom had Monday off because of the holiday and we were able to drive more hours in a shorter amount of time so we could stay in Flagstaff and spend Monday with his family.  Well, here it is Tuesday night and we are still here.  It all worked out and the hospitality has been wonderful.  But, while staying here with their family, Dan and I have both been convicted of how to be better parents with training our children.  Tom and Jenn have studied how to parent from a biblical perspective and we had the pleasure of watching them in action.  Their tone of voice stayed the same, they were consistent with their language, they used biblical terminology while disciplining, and pursued their children's behaviors as a matter of the heart.  Their goal is not disciplining, but to encourage their hearts to respond in a christlike manner.  Needless to say we are leaving our time with them wanting to alter our approach to our kids.  We have ideas of some books to read to help guide us and I am excited to start reading them.  Our hearts have been changed from living with Tom and Jenn these last couple days.  Coincidence.....I think not!

Thank you Cutlip family!

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