Completer

Sunday night I had the opportunity to teach the high school girls at our church.  Initially, I was so intimidated to work with this age group, but I have found that I really like it.  I taught with two other women and we focused on the concept of being a "helper completer." What the man lacks the woman supplies; what the woman lacks the man supplies. We each have different strengths and weaknesses. A husband and wife complete each other. I know for me, I have learned so much to be patient and rely on Dan's strengths and wisdom in situations.  I learned a valuable lesson on this last weekend.

Last Saturday I was reminded of how much I initially try to do things on my own and forget to rely on Dan's strengths.  God knew what he was doing when he put us together.  I am independent, fast paced and quick to get things done....and Dan sits on things and thinks about them and reacts differently then I do.  He takes his time when responding.

Mya had her first Upwards basketball game Saturday morning and we were so excited to see her play.  Dan is coaching her team so he and Mya went to the game early.  The girls and I met them there at game time.  Mya's name was called, her picture was up on the screen, the music was loud and exciting and the crowd cheering.....and she didn't come out.  The rest of her team came out, but there was no Mya.  I got Dan's attention from across the room and asked where she was.  He wasn't able to tell me what had happened through non-verbal gestures so I waited until I could talk to him once the game started.  He told me that Mya refused to come out. She was too scared.  He went to the hallway and brought her to sit with me.  She told me she was too afraid to be in front of the large group. 

So here is how we had two completely different responses....and I wished I would have waited to talk to Dan about how he handled it before I responded.  I was frustrated with Mya right away.  I did something that as mothers....we swear we would never do.  I told her that I would buy her a surprise if she would go out and play.  Ugh!  Big confessions here people...I did this!  Guess what?  It didn't work.  She still wouldn't go out.  Half way through the game she decided she would go stand by Dan while he was coaching.  She started to get more comfortable.  And finally, during the last quarter, he was able to get Mya into the game. 

After the game, I asked Dan how he handled it when she refused to come out in front of the crowd and play.  You know what he said?  He said, "I told her that I love her and it is okay if she is afraid.  She can join when she feels ready.  I told her that I don't love her any less because she is scared."  Gulp!  He handled it with such sweetness and gentleness.  And I was ready to pay money for a toy to get her to participate.  Leaning on his wisdom would have been the best way to handle that one!  And it made me thankful that he was her first interaction when dealing with her fear.