Practice Makes Perfect

We are getting better and better at this camping thing.  We went again this weekend.  Dry wood...check!  Sleeping on flat ground.....check!  Free campsite....check!  Campsite all to ourselves....check!  Perfect weather...check!  Air mattresses....double check!  We took our nephews with us this time which provided additional company for our girls.  That gave Dan and I more sit down time by the fire.  When we arrived, it was time to set up camp.  Dan and I are able to set up everything, including the tent, without needing to say much to each other.  I consider that a success because we know what each other is doing and things are done efficiently.  After things were set up the kids explored the surroundings.  We camped at Malabar Farm and had all 15 campsites to ourselves.  So the kids had plenty of room to run and play an awesome game of hide and seek.  As night set in we did the traditional "s'mores" for snack.  The boys figured out that sticking sticks in the fire and pulling them out after they were hot would make a trail of smoke as they ran through the campground.  I think at one point all the kids had a smoke parade.  It was all fun and games until a hot coal ended up on my seat and my bottom.  Ouch!  Our girls definitely needed some ground rules for handling hot sticks.

At bedtime, Dan and I found a couple stories on our phones to read to the kids.  Guess we should remember a story book for our next trip.  The kids went to bed beautifully and Dan and I enjoyed sitting by the fire and watching the last log burn.  Chloe camped out on Dan's lap and fell asleep on him.  It was precious to see her snuggled up on his chest.  We had a few hours of relaxed conversation talking about the past and remembering what God has done in our lives.  We snuggled up and went to bed with Chloe and all slept until 6:30 the next morning.  While we packed everything up, the kids ate their bananas and granola bars and played one more game of hide and go seek.  I just love creating memories!

Tree Hugger

I have some weird camping blood in my body and it didn't come from my immediate family.  When I was 15 years old I started working at a camp for children with special needs.  And I worked there for the next 11 years.  I grew to love the outdoors and found that I was in my element while camping in the woods.  I fell in love with the smells and sights of nature.  So now I carry on the tradition to my children.  So far they love camping too.  I am slowly turning Dan into a camper. 

Memorial Day weekend proved to be absolutely beautiful with blue skies and perfect temperatures.  So we packed up Saturday evening and found a campsite a half hour from home.  That seems to be the perfect distance with the kids being younger.  Once they are older we can venture to some new places.  But for now, we go down for the evening, have s'mores, let them play for a few hours, and go home early in the morning.  We found a place with a playground and a small lake so the kids had plenty to do.  My favorite part about these short trips is spending time with Dan.  We are not on our cell phones or the IPad and we can talk for hours.  This time is precious and sweet for us.  And we thoroughly enjoyed watching our happy kids enjoy the outdoors.  When we arrived, Chloe acted like we gave her a tremendous amount of freedom and she did somersaults all over the camp site.  She was so happy to NOT have tight boundaries.....which we give her quite often.  The evening was enjoyable and the kids went to bed around 9:30.  Dan and I went to bed about an hour later and realized we were laying on a slight hill.  We tried and tried to get comfortable, but it wasn't working very well.  We stuck it out into early morning and decided our sleep was pretty important.  So we packed everyone up in speedy time and drove home to our soft beds.  We have decided it is time for an air mattress for us.  The kids are looking forward to some more camping trips in the near future.

Weekend of Wisdom

This past weekend I was able to attend the Women of Faith event in Columbus, Ohio.  I went with five other women from my Sunday school class.  God sure knows how to time things right.  I was due for a break from the kids.  I love my children, but some days it is hard to find a moment for myself.  And I need that time to refuel and rejuvenate so I can be a better mommy and wife.  This weekend gave me the respite that I needed.  We left Friday afternoon and spent some time sitting in traffic, but it didn't matter because the car was full of laughter and conversation.  We had a yummy dinner, a few hours of the conference and then the slumber party began.  We stayed up until 2am talking.  In fact, I was still talking when I heard heavy breathing going on and realized the girls had passed out.  I love talking at night.  Isn't my husband a lucky man?

Saturday was full of conversation and speakers and food and singing and speakers and conversation.  I left feeling filled emotionally and spiritually.  I left feeling like I could hear my God speaking louder and clearer to me.  I left feeling more secure and excited about starting another week with the kids.  I got home that night and spent a few more hours talking with Dan before bed.  Somehow I had the energy for that!  It was great conversation with my best friend. 

The thing that I learned from being away was that I kind of like who God created me to be.  That probably sounds funny, but I had a day and a half to take care of myself and no one else.  I was comfortable with my surroundings and the friends that I was with and just enjoyed the time away.  I struggle with insecurities and I asked God to reveal the root of those issues while I was away.  I felt like he gave me a day of contentment and peace.  He allowed me to feel that and grasp it and believe it.  I felt like He showed me my strengths and helped me like them.  And the best part was that I came home to a clean house, bathed kids and a husband snuggling with all three girls!  It truly was a weekend of wisdom that filled my soul.

Happy Easter!

The Story of a Wedding Band

So....pretty cool story!  On our wedding night, after all the craziness of the wedding day, we settled into a nice hotel and Dan presented me with a plain silver wedding band.  He said that some day I might not want to wear my diamond ring and I might want to wear a simple band instead.  Like if I was playing sports or something and the diamond would get in the way. It was a very sweet gesture, but I put the ring away for when I might need it....and I forgot about it.

About a week ago, Dan and I were sitting down for the evening to watch television and I noticed that my diamond wedding ring didn't feel right.  I pulled my hand out from under the blanket and saw that the diamond was missing.  Ugh!  We made it almost ten years and I have never lost my ring or the diamond.  The good news is that we had insurance on it so it is getting fixed.  Thank goodness!  But I was suddenly without something on my left hand.  The left hand that has had a ring on it for so long.  The next morning after I lost my ring I went to my jewelry organizer to find a necklace to wear with my outfit.  And as I was searching around my eye caught sight of the single wedding band that Dan gave me all those years ago.  I was so excited to see it and know that I was finally having the moment that he bought it for. 

Life Is Good

Doesn't this picture just warm your heart??  My baby isn't such a baby anymore.  She can almost reach the sink to wash her hands.  She can put her shoes on by herself.  She can open doors without my assistance.  She is almost four.  Where has the time gone?  I was able to spend the day with my girls today and it was wonderful.  Dan came down with the flu virus on Thursday night and has been down for the last two days.  So this weekend has become a "girls" weekend.  Luckily I started the morning with an eight mile run (very early), which gave me the energy to be with them all day.  And I released some extra endorphins, which is always helpful.  Our day was full of a lot of activity, but I found myself laughing and enjoying the girls a lot.  I also found myself really missing my husband.  That companionship and the comforts of parenting the kids together just wasn't the same today.  Hopefully he will be better tomorrow.  He said he has a super busy week coming up so he needs his energy back.  I am so proud of that man!  He is building his business well and is close to getting his first office and office manager. 

Mya started soccer last week for the first time ever.  Can I just tell you that I am so excited to be a "soccer mom."  I have had dreams of being a sports mom and it is finally coming true.  She loves running so I am hoping this might be a good sport for her.  Basketball didn't pan out to be her favorite thing.  She was scared of handling the ball and it wasn't fun for her.  It is all about trial and error at this age.  I am proud of her for trying another new thing even though basketball was a tougher experience for her.  It seems like since we have been handling her anxieties differently she is starting to face little fears one step at a time.  I went to bible study last week and Dan had an evening with the girls.  He spent a lot of extra time that night with Mya talking about her fears and made some good progress with her.  She got a new fish today, which was crazy exciting for her.  She told me that when she worries about things she will go look at her fish and feel better.  That was sweet to hear!

Smoothies are still a big part of our life.  It has been about three years that we have been making these on a daily basis.  One a day...four cups at a time.  So yummy and so good for our bellies.  I know when I go a day without one.  My body doesn't like it.  Here is my favorite recipe that I like to have as a dessert at night.  Enjoy!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Green Smoothie

 

1 cup almond milk

1 Tbsp natural peanut butter (check your ingredients list....it should only be peanuts)

2 Tbsp Cacao powder (I buy this at the Vitamin Store)

2 tsp vanilla

2 cups spinach

1 cup ice

 



Much Thanks

I just have to take a moment to thank my readers!  I have received some amazing feedback from my last post about Mya's anxiety.  I mean....some really good advice.  You have all comforted and confirmed and shared similar experiences.  It has been so encouraging.  I had a heart change the other day and have since altered the way I react to Mya.  And I have seen the benefits already to just letting her have the fears...letting her own them....and letting her feel them.  She is such a huge part of our lives and when you parent you hurt when your child hurts.  We are learning and growing with her and I am thankful for any advice given.

Let It Go

Anyone seen this movie as many times as I have?  As much as I LOVE the music, I have it heard a few too many times in our house.

One of the popular songs from this movie is called "Let It Go."  The main theme of the movie is about a sister who has ice powers and doesn't know how to control them.  But when an act of love (her sister giving her life to save her) is committed then she is released to become herself and learns how to control her gift and use it for good.  It is an amazing story of love and acceptance and empowerment and letting go of trying to control things.

I have written in previous blog entries about Mya's anxiety and our struggles with her.  She continues to have trouble with worry extensively about things.  Dan and I see her joy in life being taken away at times.  It weighs heavy on our hearts.  We have come to the point that we don't know what to do anymore.  We have tried strategy after strategy with her and nothing seems to work.

A friend of mine stopped by yesterday and witnessed Mya's anxiety.  I was encouraging Mya to do an activity that I knew she could do, but she convinced herself she couldn't.  She had real fears and I did not have the patience for them.  But boy does God rescue us when we need a rescuer.  Turns out....my friend has an older son who struggled with anxiety when he was Mya's age.  She has already been through what I am experiencing.  She knew exactly what I was feeling.  She confirmed my feelings, but told me to quit pushing.  As soon as I did, I could visually see Mya's body relax and respond with gratefulness and peace.  She hugged me and thanked me for validating her feelings and her fears....the ones that don't seem real to me but are very real in her mind.  When I stopped pushing.....she and I both let go.  This is the advice that I received:

"One thing I have learned is that she has to work through the fears with your help.  Pushing her doesn't usually help.  It just increases her anxiety and your frustration.  The harder you push the worse it becomes for both of you.  She will work through it.  Just try to back off and be patient. Teach her to learn to find comfort in God's words.  It might take years, but this is a spiritual battle taking place." 

Isn't it so cool when God puts someone in your path to teach and guide?  Meeting up with this friend was not a planned event.  She just called and showed up three minutes later. So back to the Frozen example, I kind of had a big lesson on learning to let some things go.  Fighting Mya on her fears is clearly not working.  Meeting her where she is at gives her validation and allows us to have the relationship to communicate about them and work at it...work at finding God's strength and using her gifts for good.  I believe in her and I believe that God will never leave her during this process.  Just as Elsa learned to control the negative part of her gift and have strong relationships in the end, I know that Mya will persevere and find comfort in "letting go".....whenever that may be.

Sara Bear

Recently we have recognized that Sara, our middle child, has an awesome sense of humor. She likes to make people laugh. Just the other day she played a fun joke on me. Every night at dinner, we pray for a family on one of the Christmas cards that we got at Christmas time. The girls have fallen in love with this activity. So Sara decided to color a picture of Strawberry Shortcake and place the picture in our cabinet with the Christmas cards. So when we went to pick our card for dinner we grabbed Strawberry shortcake. She thought she was so funny for being sneaky.

Today I heard her laughing hysterically when I was schooling Mya. Turns out she had a little photo session with herself on the IPad.  Too cute!

The Perfection Infection

Do you ever wonder what God will say to you when you get to heaven?  I was thinking about this question when I was running this morning.  I would hope that He would say, "Well done good and faithful servant."

I was at bible study last Tuesday evening and we were talking about a book called No More Perfect Moms by Jill Savage. She has this concept called the Perfection Infection.  Moms, especially, tend to join in on the comparison game and in the process lose self-esteem and worth.  We look to the wrong thing to give us comfort and confidence.  Comparison breeds insecurity.  And suddenly we don't like what we look like in the mirror.  One of the culprits of this is social media.  The author said that years ago we might see the Jones Family (you know, the one that looks and seems perfect) maybe once a week.  But with social media we see that family multiple times a day.  Facebook is one avenue that we discussed.  We put our best pictures and comments on Facebook.  So when one insecure mom gets on Facebook that day, she goes off feeling completely defeated.  By no means do I think that posting great pictures and comments is a bad thing.  By no means do I think that getting your hair done or wearing make up is a bad thing.  But as moms we have to develop that inner confidence so social media doesn't cause us to stumble.  Wouldn't it be great to get on Facebook and see those "perfect" pictures and know deep inside that that isn't true reality every day for that family?  And know that the life that we have is enough and good.  We unfairly compare ourselves to others, but we all struggle with similar challenges in life one way or another.  We have to change our expectations and love the "imperfect" lives that we live along with everyone else.

Our bible study leader came up with this great suggestion that we were certain she wouldn't actually do.  She challenged us to take a picture of ourselves when we wake up in the morning....no hair do and no makeup.....just our "real" selves.  And she took it a step further and challenged us to post it on Facebook.  So the next morning I woke up and checked my email.  I had a post on my page and it was a morning picture of our leader.  What!!  I might be calm, cool and collective, but I never turn down a challenge.  I am secretly kind of competitive.  I know, I know....it didn't show on the tennis court, but it does show when I play card games or board games or at my boot camp class.  I couldn't let her be the only one who posted her picture.  So I got my camera and started shooting selfies of my morning look.  I have to be totally honest and say that it took multiple shots before I was comfortable with one of them.  But looking back at those shots....they all looked the same.  I finally settled on a picture and put it on Facebook.  Again, it took me some more time before I could actually hit the "post" button to make my picture go "live."  Through this experience I realized how uncomfortable I am with outward appearance before doing my hair and putting on makeup.  And actually following through with posting a picture started to tear some of those walls down for me.  I couldn't escape it and I couldn't control who was looking at it.  I posted the "real" me and I had to be okay with it.  I looked at myself and saw the wrinkles around my eyes and crooked teeth.  But as I read everyone's comments about my picture, I realized that the word "beautiful" was used over and over again.  Most of who looked at my picture knew the real me.  They knew my heart.  They didn't look at the picture the same way that I did.  Over time I became comfortable with the picture.  It is now my profile picture....another challenge for us!  I found myself saying, "It is what it is."  If we are all honest with ourselves, we would share that we all struggle with things.  We all fall short of our own standard of excellence.  We compare our insides to others' outsides.  Or our outsides to others outsides.  But our expectations and reality should be that God has given us grace and beauty in an imperfect life.  I wake up each morning looking like the "real" picture below.....and Dan rolls over and calls me beautiful.  I can't help but think and know that God calls me that and so much more!

It is fun to feel pretty and make myself up for Dan on date nights.  It is great to show the kids that I care about my outsides too.  They need to see me taking care of myself and having confidence in my looks.  But they also need to grow up seeing how imperfect I am as their mom.  And knowing that it is completely okay.  As Jill Savage puts it so eloquently in her book, "Take off insecurity, tell yourself that you are enough, and put on confidence by embracing your strengths and your weaknesses."  I might have some wrinkles around my eyes, but there is wisdom that came from getting those wrinkles!

Two different pictures below......but the same heart.

Sweet Encounter

Today I took the girls to Mansfield to run some errands.  We stopped at Panera for breakfast.  I wanted them to be full and have lots of energy to keep up with me because we had a lot of stores to go to.  While we were in Panera, the girls met a very special friend.  They wanted to sit by the fire and they were positioned by an older gentleman.  He started talking to them as they ate their breakfast and they grew more and more comfortable with him.  He was telling quite a story about how he had a heart attack in 1994 and the medical staff burned his vocal cords when they put the tube down his throat.  He had a really scratchy voice and wanted the kids to know why he sounded different.  I asked him more questions the longer we sat there and learned that his wife had left him and he had no kids.  It was a sad story.  But he was friendly and had a very positive attitude about his life.  I asked him if he was upset about his vocal cords and he firmly said, "No!  They saved my life!"  It was a neat encounter.  And then we got up to leave the restaurant and said our goodbyes to the kind gentleman.  Mya and Sara stopped before we got to the door, turned around and went back to the gentleman to ask him if he knew Jesus.  Others in the restaurant heard this going on and were quite touched by the sweet, innocent question that the girls asked.  The gentleman said he did love the Lord and the girls felt so good about that.  I left the restaurant feeling like one proud mama!

Believing in Yourself

We are finally recovered from the flu virus we had last week and are functioning normal again.  It took a while to recover because I got behind on laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc.  Dan helps out with a lot of that stuff, but he was busy taking care of me and the kids when we were sick.  It was a long week of illnesses and cold, cold weather.  I am SO ready for summer.  I finally have a beautiful leg to show (minus the ugly vein) and I can't wait to wear a bathing suit with pride.  Except for the toe fungus I have going on.  Guess I need to see the foot doctor for that one.  I am not even 40 yet and I feel like there is always something that needs fixed on me.  What is that all about???

Since spring is around the corner I am trying to decide what my fitness goals will be.  Most likely I will sign up for a half marathon again, but I need to start training soon if I am going to be ready for it in time.  The girls and I have enjoyed ice skating as our exercise this winter.  Chloe especially loves it and thinks she is pretty good!  I never knew a three year old could skate quite like my baby can.

Tonight we had a wonderful date night.  I feel like the more independent the girls are becoming, the easier it is to leave them and enjoy our time together.  We saw a movie and had dinner at a great restaurant in Wooster.  I just treasure these times that I have with Dan because they are fun and meaningful and just plain healthy for our marriage.  We have eye contact and stimulating conversation and it is so refreshing.  Plus we saw a really good movie.

When we got home tonight we had a very interesting conversation with our seven year old about having faith in herself.  She is playing Upward basketball and is enjoying it, but definitely struggles with confidence.  The lack of belief in herself transfers to lack of aggressiveness or assertiveness on the court.  She has the skill, but lacks the confidence.  Funny thing is, Dan and I both dealt with the same thing as kids.  I recently had a talk with my dad about this very topic.  I was a tough one to work with, especially in high school, because I did not believe in myself.  I played tennis and I played it well.  In fact, I knew I had some serious skill.  I was good.....during practice.  But as soon as I walked on the court to play a match, I lost mentally and actually lost the game.  I had a tremendous record of losses.  I rarely, if ever, won a match.  I remember playing a match against a girl who broke her arm and had to play with her non-dominant hand.  And she still beat me.  It was humiliating. It took me until my senior year to make the varsity team.  And even when I made the team, I played second doubles because I couldn't win.  I had the skill to play number one singles, but never reached that goal.  I just had no self esteem and it showed on the court.  Dan played basketball.  He had skill and I have personally seen him play as an adult....he is pretty darn good.  But he had zero aggressiveness when he played in high school.  He just couldn't go anywhere with the game because he didn't believe in himself.  So here we are, two parents who struggled with this, telling our seven year old to start believing in herself now.  Because it is an important skill to learn early on.  We are doing everything we can to build her up and help her see her potential.  We are telling her not to make the same mistakes that we did as kids.  We had her attention.  She seemed to understand what we were saying.  But how will she transfer that to her life?  We told her to let God show her how much potential she has.  We told her to believe that she is something special.  I hope she truly did hear what we said.  I hope she gets it.  This is something we certainly will commit to praying for her as she grows and develops.  In fact, what a great prayer to have for all the kids.  I pray that they learn early on how much potential and goodness they have!

As I have been researching this topic, I came across a beautiful poem that gave me some inspiration and extra thoughts on how to work with our kids on this topic. But one of the most important things I learned from talking to my dad recently, was that life is about learning how to live in the present.  The past is gone and the future is unseen, so living in the present just makes sense.  We need to embrace where we are in life, forgive past burdens and stop worrying about the future that may or may not happen.  Good life lessons that I can pass on to my kids!

Believe in your heart that 

something wonderful is about to happen.

Love your life.

Believe in your own power,

and in your own potential,

and your own innate goodness.

 

Wake every morning with the awe of just being alive.

Discover each day the magnificent,

awesome beauty in the world.

Explore and embrace life 

in yourself and in everyone

you see each day.

Reach within to find your own specialness.

 

Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to

the potential of each new day

Don't be afraid to admit your less than perfect; 

this is the essence

of our humanity.

 

Let those who love you help you.

Trust enough to be able to take.

 

Look with hope to the horizon of today 

for today is all we truly have.

Live this day well.

 

Let a little sun out as well as in.

Create your own rainbows.

Be open to all your possibilities,

all possibilities and miracles.

 

Always believe in miracles.

~Author Unknown~

New Year...New You: Days 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and so on and so on

Well, I am actually ready to rap up my entries about the detox.  Not because I am done doing it....I have two more days to go...but because I can sum it all up in one entry what I have learned these last five days.  Unfortunately, I am not nearly as beautiful with words as my neighbor and friend, Sara Wells, is.  I guess it is because she is published author! She blogged today about her journey on a 30 day detox.  And her words were priceless.  So in order to save me the time and agony of putting all of this into words, I encourage you to check out her blog post at http://networkedblogs.com/Tgta6. She culminates her thoughts on how you can make a case for and against doing a detox.  The bottom line is having good, healthy boundaries with food. 

I was getting to the point that I was educating myself so much that I was becoming scared of any sugar and processed foods.  I mean....everything is linked to cancer these days, right?  I couldn't ignore what I was reading, but I noticed that I was really struggling to find the right balance with what to eat and what not to eat.  And what to feed my kids and husband. After all, I am an advocate for green smoothies and essential oils so a plant based diet is what I teach about. But in reality, health in all areas is what I teach about.  Food is only one of those components.  These last five days on the detox have helped me regain a healthy balance with those dilemmas.  It all comes down to the way you feel.  Do you feel vibrant and alive with the foods you are eating?  Do you feel sluggish and weighed down?  Food should give us energy and help keep us alive.  God gave us food because it is good for our mind, body and soul.  There should be no guilt involved.  If I want a cookie that I so lovingly made for the girls, I can have it.  If I have three of them and feel guilty, then maybe I should try just having one and enjoying the whole thing.  I will have that slice of cake at a birthday party because I am enjoying it with my kids.  But overall, I will maintain many of the habits that I developed this week because they made me feel good.  I wasn't driven by hunger, I wasn't consumed with what foods I was eating or not eating and I thoroughly enjoyed my meals.  I had peace of mind that I know I can maintain.  I didn't really learn about food this week because I didn't eat so differently from what I am used to.  What I did learn was how to listen to my body and live guilt free days.  And that pizza I fed to my kids yesterday and today, because I was sick, is totally okay.

New Year....New You: Days 3 and 4

Today's entry will mostly be about my essential oils because they changed my life yesterday.  My 7 year old and I woke up with what we thought was a cold.  But after a few hours of being awake we headed into the body aches, fever, chills, headache, cough and major fatigue.  We were down and out all day yesterday.  What we thought was a cold turned out to be the flu virus.  I was so caught off guard.  Mya is still recovering today, but I feel so much better and have regained some of my energy.  And this is where I talk about how different it was to have the flu with my essential oils.  In 2012 I had something extremely similar and was in bed for three days.  This time it was one day in bed.  I treated aggressively and had so much more comfort as I was battling the symptoms. I had very little coughing as long as I stayed on top of keeping the Breathe (essential oil blend) in my lungs.  Peppermint gave me comfort with my headache.  Frankincense was for my sore throat and took the pain away immediately.  And then I took oregano, on guard and lemon in a capsule three times yesterday and two times today.  I am just amazed at the results.

In regards to the detox, I still have maintained things well, even through the illness.  In fact, eating clean is the best way to heal from a virus.  The biggest difference I have noticed is that I am not hungry for lunch until around 1:30.  I have a lemon drink at 8:00, a smoothie at 10:00 with protein powder, some fruits and veggies as a snack and that carries me to a late lunch.  I am not eating without thinking about it this week.  Often times (before the detox) I would quickly eat my lunch because it was lunch time and I was so busy with the kids that I wouldn't think through what I was eating or even if I was hungry.  I find that I am taking my time eating my food this week and really enjoying it. 

New Year....New You: Day 2

This is the second day of my detox and surprisingly I am doing very well.  I am not starving.  I was very worried about how last night would go because I tend to be a night snacker.  Night is the time when I want to consume sugary snacks.  But I had my final meal at 6:30 and that was it for the evening.  I made a butternut squash-apple soup, which sounds a little bland, but it was yummy.  I didn't make the broth thin enough so it was like eating baby food, but at least it tasted good.  Today I had a grapefruit, avocado salad for lunch, which was super yummy.  It is late afternoon as I am writing this and I still feel semi-full.  At 4:00 I will have a cranberry drink and then dinner will be meat and veggies. 

As far as physical or emotional changes are concerned I am not experiencing anything drastic.  I feel like I have a lot of energy, drink lots of  water, am nice and regular (if you know what I mean) and am not craving sugars today.  I have an organic peppermint tea that I drink in the afternoon to help curve the cravings.  It just plain feels good emotionally and physically to be eating clean.  I have such a peace of mind because I am concentrating on myself and really taking care of my body this week.  Tomorrow I will start with my workout schedule so I am curious to see how I maintain the cravings when I am burning more calories. 

I do not struggle with any major health concerns.  Overall, I feel great every day.  But I do have a right foot that has dry, cracked skin and I have never been able to overcome it.  No matter how many foot treatments I do or what lotion I use, it just never gets better.  One of the things that drove me to try the detox was the hope that my foot might clear up.  I will keep you posted on any changes there.

New Year.....New You: Day 1

My team leader for doTerra and greensmoothiegirl.com came up with a 7 day detox plan for us to try out for her.  I took on the challenge of being a guinea pig for this plan.  Today was day 1 of the detox.  I am going to try to journal each day and talk about the challenges and successes with a detox.  I have never done one before....but felt like this was safe because it doesn't involve buying product from any company and I am able to eat plant based foods as well as organic meat proteins (not red meat).  Each morning I drink water with lemon juice and honey to start the cleansing process, have a smoothie for breakfast (today's was awesome!), have a salad for lunch (I made a yummy Dijon dressing), a cranberry drink in the late afternoon and a dinner of soup or salad.  Of course snacks are in between all those meals.  I think the challenging part will be keeping myself from feeling hungry.  I just have to snack on the right things to give myself the calories and protein that I need.  Since I work out each morning I need extra calories.  So as I go on this journey I will adjust things to meet my individual needs and still eat a clean diet.  I guarantee it will be very hard at times, but hopefully it will be rewarding.

I am a sugar addict.  I love sugar.  I have done this before where I get processed sugar out of my system and then I don't crave it anymore.  I hope that day comes soon!  After the 7 days then I will reintroduce certain foods back into my diet and eat the way I normally eat again.  Before you assume that we eat perfectly or wonderfully, please be aware that we don't.  The month of December was full of Christmas cookies and treats and we enjoyed them.  I do feed my kids mac and cheese as an easy meal sometimes.  We do have pizza once a week and I do give my kids candy.  We just incorporate green smoothies and more whole foods into our diet then we used to.  In case you read in a previous post about Mya and her sugar obsession....we finally conquered it!  She has let that go and enjoys her healthy snacks and the really sugary yummy ones too.  It is all about finding a healthy balance for our family.  And I think we are finally settling into providing food that meets each family member's needs.  Every person is so unique in how God made us.  I think that certain people crave certain foods for a reason.  Listening to your body and how you feel is the most important thing!

Shoveling

While I was working on the computer, Dan came in to tell me that the kids were shoveling the yard.  I corrected him and asked how they were doing shoveling the driveway.  He corrected me and said, "No really...they are shoveling the yard."  He said he didn't have the heart to tell them it didn't need shoveled because they were so proud of themselves.  At some point we should tell them that it isn't necessary to shovel the yard. We got a good laugh out of this Sunday afternoon activity. 

Date Night!!!!

Dan's job is going so well, but it is busy.....which is a good thing.  The market for providing home care is pretty great in Ohio.  And he is hiring therapists all over Northern Ohio right now.  He is growing the business and we are pleased.  I even get to do some secretarial work for him here and there, which I enjoy.  We see each other a lot, but some weeks I miss him.  That means...I miss having time to sit down and just talk with him.  We finally have a date night tonight.  We are spending our Christmas money (thanks Ninnie and Papaw!) at the mall and eating at P.F. Changs with a gift card. I get a little giddy when we go on dates! So fun!

I also decided to have my sister in law cut bangs for me today.  I am excited to have something a little new.  My goal is to grow my hair long again and keep the bangs. 

Upwards

I had to use a generic picture for this blog entry because I was a bad mom and forgot the camera last Saturday at the Upwards game.  But I have to write about Mya's experience last week....and mine too. 

Dan's strategy worked.  He told me Saturday morning that Mya would be sitting with me in the audience during the entry period where the kids run in to the loud music and announcer.  He wanted her to see what it looked like.  I guess she was scared to run out because she didn't know all the specifics on where to run, how to run and where to stop running once she got out there.  She is a little bit detail oriented....nothing like me....wink, wink.  So she sat with me and the girls and watched how it all worked.  Then once that part was over she joined her team to start the game.  And she played the whole hour!  She wasn't quite sure what to do for the first half so she just ran up and down the court chasing people instead of the ball.  But during the second half it was like someone flipped a switch.  Dan's mom, dad and grandma came to the game so all of us were yelling super loud to tell her what to do.  I think that helped too....wink, wink again.  Suddenly she was running down the court to get the ball, passing the ball, dribbling the ball and making baskets.  I felt so proud!

To all the moms out there....is there ever a time when you quit tearing up every time your kid does something cool?  Just wondering, because it is going to be a long road ahead of me if I cry at everything those kids do. 

So long story short...Dan wins this time around.  Patience truly was the best strategy.

A Gift

Before Christmas we were given a wonderful gift from a woman at church who has been mentoring me.  She took our kids for an evening so we could go on a date.  Then she took our kids for a morning so I could go to the coffee shop and read a book (or search for a book...in case you read that blog entry).  All during this time that she had our kids she was helping them "craft" a gift for us. The day before Christmas she left a wrapped gift at our door addressed to Dan and me....from "the girls."  And this is what we opened on Christmas morning (see picture below).  It is a family tree and the leaves are the kids' fingerprints.  Each child has a trunk of the tree with their name and birthdate on it.  And Dan and I are at the base of the trunk with our anniversary date on it.  She wrote a beautiful note to us too.  It was a wonderful gift to give and it hangs in our bedroom so we can see it every morning we wake up and every night we go to bed.

Centers

Dan and I were working on organizing his office and work stuff on the computer and we noticed that the girls were busy doing something.  They weren't complaining or arguing so we decided to leave them alone.  When we were done, we came out to the living room and saw that the girls had set up pillows and chairs and were doing "centers."  Do you think they live with a teacher???

Sara was at the coloring center......

Chloe was at the reading center.....

And Mya was at the other coloring center....

Completer

Sunday night I had the opportunity to teach the high school girls at our church.  Initially, I was so intimidated to work with this age group, but I have found that I really like it.  I taught with two other women and we focused on the concept of being a "helper completer." What the man lacks the woman supplies; what the woman lacks the man supplies. We each have different strengths and weaknesses. A husband and wife complete each other. I know for me, I have learned so much to be patient and rely on Dan's strengths and wisdom in situations.  I learned a valuable lesson on this last weekend.

Last Saturday I was reminded of how much I initially try to do things on my own and forget to rely on Dan's strengths.  God knew what he was doing when he put us together.  I am independent, fast paced and quick to get things done....and Dan sits on things and thinks about them and reacts differently then I do.  He takes his time when responding.

Mya had her first Upwards basketball game Saturday morning and we were so excited to see her play.  Dan is coaching her team so he and Mya went to the game early.  The girls and I met them there at game time.  Mya's name was called, her picture was up on the screen, the music was loud and exciting and the crowd cheering.....and she didn't come out.  The rest of her team came out, but there was no Mya.  I got Dan's attention from across the room and asked where she was.  He wasn't able to tell me what had happened through non-verbal gestures so I waited until I could talk to him once the game started.  He told me that Mya refused to come out. She was too scared.  He went to the hallway and brought her to sit with me.  She told me she was too afraid to be in front of the large group. 

So here is how we had two completely different responses....and I wished I would have waited to talk to Dan about how he handled it before I responded.  I was frustrated with Mya right away.  I did something that as mothers....we swear we would never do.  I told her that I would buy her a surprise if she would go out and play.  Ugh!  Big confessions here people...I did this!  Guess what?  It didn't work.  She still wouldn't go out.  Half way through the game she decided she would go stand by Dan while he was coaching.  She started to get more comfortable.  And finally, during the last quarter, he was able to get Mya into the game. 

After the game, I asked Dan how he handled it when she refused to come out in front of the crowd and play.  You know what he said?  He said, "I told her that I love her and it is okay if she is afraid.  She can join when she feels ready.  I told her that I don't love her any less because she is scared."  Gulp!  He handled it with such sweetness and gentleness.  And I was ready to pay money for a toy to get her to participate.  Leaning on his wisdom would have been the best way to handle that one!  And it made me thankful that he was her first interaction when dealing with her fear.

A Story

I believe that stories of redemption.....or transformation....are meant to be told.  I don't see any reason to keep them to ourselves.  Because what they demonstrate and what they share are testimonies of God's grace.  And I think it is beautiful when that happens.  I was just talking with a group of women the other day as we were planning our "talk" for the high school students this Sunday.  We were talking about how awesome it is to have the Lord who transforms, molds and shapes us into something even better.  We have the hope and security from Him that makes our hearts more beautiful as we learn and grow and experience life.  We truly experience life abundantly because of Christ.  No one said life would be easy just because you accept Christ.  In fact, I think sometimes it might be harder.

So today I share a story that is near and dear to my heart.  I have shared bits and pieces of it, but never put it all together in my blog.  During our time in California and especially once we got home, I was escalating on the inside.  But I didn't know it until it was too late.  I had stifled a lot of feelings and thoughts and ideas and came to the point that I realized I had a lot to share and it needed to get out.  Unfortunately, it came out as a "meltdown."  The kind that is very embarrassing...that you wish you could undo...but you can't.  The kind that left Dan and me very vulnerable and at a crossroads.  It was my birthday party...August 29, 2012...and I was at the point where I was ready to explode.  And I did.  We ordered Chipotle for my party because I thought it would be easier on everyone else.  The orders got all messed up, I was frustrated with Dan and one comment was made that allowed for the tears to just stream out.  I cried in front of my guests.  No one had a clue what was going on or why I was upset.  Dan and I went inside at that moment and were surrounded by his mom and aunt.  They listened, they talked, and listened some more.  They helped us sort things out for the time being so we could join the party again. Dan spent some time with his uncle so he could talk things out.  It was just completely a mess and something I wouldn't want to do again.  But without this eruption, the beautiful transformation that has taken place simply wouldn't have happened.  God used this experience to do a marvelous work in my life, Dan's life and in our children's lives.  To God be the glory for what came of this.

So what caused the eruption?  Looking back it was a lot of suppressing of feelings, not sharing with Dan when I should have.  It was a lot of not being true to myself.  Instead of working as a team with Dan, I just held back and let bitterness take root.  But most importantly it was about letting go of perfectionism and learning to love who God made me to be. 

Here is where the story gets good!  We had to pick up the pieces after this incident.  Dan had a lot of questions for me.  He was confused and hurt.  We had a lot of talking to do.  And talking is exactly what we did....a lot of it.  And this is where the change took place.  God used that time of talking to the wee hours of the night.  He used it to help us see deeper into each other's hearts.  He used it to grow us much closer together.  He used it to make us better people.  He used it for His glory.

We recovered beautifully....but it wasn't easy.  It took a lot of hard work on our part.  We talked and we dated and we worked 110% on our relationship.  We courted each other, we set goals and worked on them.  We rekindled our admiration for each other.  The love never went away. 

While all of these changes were taking place, Dan took a job at a nearby hospital and worked there for a year.  He wanted to pursue a travelling job again, but I didn't want him to.  So he settled for a job that was just okay for him.  Now fast forward to the Fall of 2013 and he had the itch to research travelling jobs yet again.  Through my mentoring time with a wonderful woman from church I was challenged to explore the tight hold that I had on Dan and his job.  I was terrified to have him change and wanted to control that aspect of our life.  But one evening I let it go.  I gave it to God and had peace.  So now the story gets even cooler!  As soon as I let go and confessed to Dan....God moved.  Dan began researching travel jobs but nothing was working out.  At the same time, we got a random Facebook message from a friend that Dan worked with when we were first married.  He messaged Dan because the company that he works for wanted to start a business in Ohio.  They needed a director for Ohio and he highly recommended Dan for the job.  Dan decided to pursue the lead and one thing led to another and.......he is in that job now.  He works from home, he is learning a business, and he has room to grow in the job. 

As a family, we are closer and stronger than ever.  We love to be together, we have developed common interests and are being knit tight.  I joke around about getting married again (to Dan of course) because we are that much more in love then when we met.  I love him in new ways and the love just seems to get deeper and stronger with time.  We came to a crossroads in 2012 and we followed God's lead.  And we are better because of it.  My message to any young couple out there would be to NOT expect your new husband to "complete" you.  That is never going to happen because you have to be complete in Christ.  Your mission should be to allow God to change you....in fact, you should be begging for God to change you....instead of trying to change everyone else.