Journey

I experienced "true" rest yesterday. It was a Sunday afternoon. We took the kids to church, came home, ate lunch, and went to the swimming pool for a bit. I took Chloe home early for her nap. I bathed her and then snuggled up with her on the couch. I figured I would put her to bed once she fell asleep. But three hours later we were still snuggled up on the couch together. She woke up in my arms, safe and secure. I rested and she slept so peacefully. It was a wonderful afternoon. Isn't that just how God wants us to feel with Him? I have been on quite a journey here in Pleasanton. For Dan, i believe he was placed here to let go of the hold he had on paying off the debt. I believe I was placed here to experience solitude and see what I am made of. I believe I was placed here to search and discover how much God loves me...and see how He looks at me. I am far from arriving...but I am moving forward. When I first started this blog, I mentioned that I wanted to be honest while journaling our life experiences here. Well, the honesty for me is that I have struggled with perfectionism for years and years. And it has come to light here that it was time to face the ugliness and start to learn about God's view of me. Because my view of myself isn't so pretty. And I have since realized how hurtful that is to the master who created me a certain way. So I am on the road to healing and recovery from trying to control things. I am on the road to finding true rest. It doesn't mean I need to change my personality, but guilt and shame and worry and comparing myself to others and all of those toxic things do not need to be in my life as they were before. You know what is crazy??? Since I started truly confronting these things....my e-mail devotions have ALL been centered on these topics. I get devotions from Proverbs 31 ministry and Purpose Driven Life. Each day for the last couple weeks the topics have been on forgiveness, rest, confidence, self-identity, eliminating negative self talk, not pleasing others, and many more amazing life lessons. I have been given scripture to help me with this. For example, "When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." 2Cor 10:12 Or........Romans 8:28, Phil 1:6, Eph 2:10 and Phil 4:13 are all good verses about our purpose and significance. Finally, I am excited about this journey and where it will take me. I am wide open for learning and working on things and letting God work on the inner beauty that needs the most attention. That is where I want to grow and I know the rest will follow. Wouldn't you know....yesterday's teaching at church was on inner beauty!