Genesis

I continue to be amazed at the life lessons that God is teaching me while on this journey. I am amazed at how He has sustained me, especially at this new place. I know no one in this town. I am with the girls all week and I do not have relationship with anyone...not even a neighbor. I would work harder at finding relationships if I knew we were staying, but things are in limbo so I wait. It is a new situation for me. The last place was 9 months so i was very encouraged and motivated to meet people. At this place I focus on the girls, I wait for Dan to get home and lean on him for adult talk, and I find things to do to make sure I have some quiet time to myself. But more importantly I am learning to enjoy what I have, rather than focus on what I wish I had. I am learning to accept that God is always refining us, no matter where we are located. I put on His armor and allow Him to teach me and mold me during this period of time. It is okay because God refines and gives peace everyday. This lesson was made abundantly clear while studying the book of Genesis.

It just so happened that the Sunday School class at church was studying Genesis...the fall of mankind...and we were studying that with the girls during our nightly family worship time. Both studies were going on at the same time. We talked a lot about Satan and how he tries to control us with deception and lies. And how that allows for independence from God. God tells us to obey Him no matter what, just like we tell our children to do. And yet so often we give in to the sin that is crouching at the door. For me sometimes it is wanting things because we aren't buying them right now. Or getting frustrated because we have to share a car. Or just wanting a cell phone that isn't held together with duct tape. Or wanting to win EVERY battle with the kids...whether big or small. But for goodness sakes, that is Satan telling me I need those things to be happier. It would be nice to have those things, but my spirit is no different if I have them or not. Our needs are met...the family is fed and clothed and we live very comfortable. The truth is that there is no reason to need more things. Thankfully, through God's grace, He gives me peace when I admit those sins and allow Him to refine me.

Just the other day I had quite a run in with Mya. It started so small and grew large very quickly. I have only seen her act like this one other time in her 5 years of life. She wanted to close the blinds in her room to play "sleepy time" with her dolls. I told her to leave them open. She started whining. I told her to go to the corner. She told me she didn't want to. I told her to obey. She went to the corner but decided that the floor hurt her feet. She convinced herself that she couldn't stand anymore because her feet hurt. She escalated quickly and was crying very hard and loud. It was ugly. This went on for a while. Finally, I took her out of the corner, held her tightly to calm her down. I talked to her about her heart and how Satan was liking what she was doing. She stopped immediately and started asking tons of questions about Satan. We had a dialogue about her behavior. Obviously we were having quite a power struggle between mom and daughter. Both of us clearly succumbing to some negative ways. She wanted her way, I very much so wanted my way just so I could win the battle. I was frustrated, I wouldn't let her get one inch of her way. It got out of hand and the only thing that brought us both back to reality was talking about our hearts. She gently reminded me that I needed to be slow to anger. I reminded her about respecting her mommy. It was an interesting learning experience. Once Dan got home he helped by talking with Mya, calming her, and impressing on her how much God wants her to obey. Then he and I talked about the situation. I realized that I was holding a grudge with her about her behavior. I had to ask for forgiveness and recognize how much my pride played a role in that. The evening ended with a wonderful talk between mom and daughter. We both talked about how Satan is there waiting to get to us. But
God is there to teach us to obey His ways.

Why is it that we can't just be given wisdom right now? Why couldn't we have gotten it the day we had our babies? Why do we have to go through all the tough stuff to get it? Why do we get smart only after our kids are raised or after we have been married for a while? I guess so we can be drawn right back to God each time and take a stand against the devil's schemes. How would He refine us if we didn't go through these experiences? It is by God's great design that we live this way...and I am thankful.

Ephesians 6:19-20