Shoveling

While I was working on the computer, Dan came in to tell me that the kids were shoveling the yard.  I corrected him and asked how they were doing shoveling the driveway.  He corrected me and said, "No really...they are shoveling the yard."  He said he didn't have the heart to tell them it didn't need shoveled because they were so proud of themselves.  At some point we should tell them that it isn't necessary to shovel the yard. We got a good laugh out of this Sunday afternoon activity. 

Date Night!!!!

Dan's job is going so well, but it is busy.....which is a good thing.  The market for providing home care is pretty great in Ohio.  And he is hiring therapists all over Northern Ohio right now.  He is growing the business and we are pleased.  I even get to do some secretarial work for him here and there, which I enjoy.  We see each other a lot, but some weeks I miss him.  That means...I miss having time to sit down and just talk with him.  We finally have a date night tonight.  We are spending our Christmas money (thanks Ninnie and Papaw!) at the mall and eating at P.F. Changs with a gift card. I get a little giddy when we go on dates! So fun!

I also decided to have my sister in law cut bangs for me today.  I am excited to have something a little new.  My goal is to grow my hair long again and keep the bangs. 

Upwards

I had to use a generic picture for this blog entry because I was a bad mom and forgot the camera last Saturday at the Upwards game.  But I have to write about Mya's experience last week....and mine too. 

Dan's strategy worked.  He told me Saturday morning that Mya would be sitting with me in the audience during the entry period where the kids run in to the loud music and announcer.  He wanted her to see what it looked like.  I guess she was scared to run out because she didn't know all the specifics on where to run, how to run and where to stop running once she got out there.  She is a little bit detail oriented....nothing like me....wink, wink.  So she sat with me and the girls and watched how it all worked.  Then once that part was over she joined her team to start the game.  And she played the whole hour!  She wasn't quite sure what to do for the first half so she just ran up and down the court chasing people instead of the ball.  But during the second half it was like someone flipped a switch.  Dan's mom, dad and grandma came to the game so all of us were yelling super loud to tell her what to do.  I think that helped too....wink, wink again.  Suddenly she was running down the court to get the ball, passing the ball, dribbling the ball and making baskets.  I felt so proud!

To all the moms out there....is there ever a time when you quit tearing up every time your kid does something cool?  Just wondering, because it is going to be a long road ahead of me if I cry at everything those kids do. 

So long story short...Dan wins this time around.  Patience truly was the best strategy.

A Gift

Before Christmas we were given a wonderful gift from a woman at church who has been mentoring me.  She took our kids for an evening so we could go on a date.  Then she took our kids for a morning so I could go to the coffee shop and read a book (or search for a book...in case you read that blog entry).  All during this time that she had our kids she was helping them "craft" a gift for us. The day before Christmas she left a wrapped gift at our door addressed to Dan and me....from "the girls."  And this is what we opened on Christmas morning (see picture below).  It is a family tree and the leaves are the kids' fingerprints.  Each child has a trunk of the tree with their name and birthdate on it.  And Dan and I are at the base of the trunk with our anniversary date on it.  She wrote a beautiful note to us too.  It was a wonderful gift to give and it hangs in our bedroom so we can see it every morning we wake up and every night we go to bed.

Centers

Dan and I were working on organizing his office and work stuff on the computer and we noticed that the girls were busy doing something.  They weren't complaining or arguing so we decided to leave them alone.  When we were done, we came out to the living room and saw that the girls had set up pillows and chairs and were doing "centers."  Do you think they live with a teacher???

Sara was at the coloring center......

Chloe was at the reading center.....

And Mya was at the other coloring center....

Completer

Sunday night I had the opportunity to teach the high school girls at our church.  Initially, I was so intimidated to work with this age group, but I have found that I really like it.  I taught with two other women and we focused on the concept of being a "helper completer." What the man lacks the woman supplies; what the woman lacks the man supplies. We each have different strengths and weaknesses. A husband and wife complete each other. I know for me, I have learned so much to be patient and rely on Dan's strengths and wisdom in situations.  I learned a valuable lesson on this last weekend.

Last Saturday I was reminded of how much I initially try to do things on my own and forget to rely on Dan's strengths.  God knew what he was doing when he put us together.  I am independent, fast paced and quick to get things done....and Dan sits on things and thinks about them and reacts differently then I do.  He takes his time when responding.

Mya had her first Upwards basketball game Saturday morning and we were so excited to see her play.  Dan is coaching her team so he and Mya went to the game early.  The girls and I met them there at game time.  Mya's name was called, her picture was up on the screen, the music was loud and exciting and the crowd cheering.....and she didn't come out.  The rest of her team came out, but there was no Mya.  I got Dan's attention from across the room and asked where she was.  He wasn't able to tell me what had happened through non-verbal gestures so I waited until I could talk to him once the game started.  He told me that Mya refused to come out. She was too scared.  He went to the hallway and brought her to sit with me.  She told me she was too afraid to be in front of the large group. 

So here is how we had two completely different responses....and I wished I would have waited to talk to Dan about how he handled it before I responded.  I was frustrated with Mya right away.  I did something that as mothers....we swear we would never do.  I told her that I would buy her a surprise if she would go out and play.  Ugh!  Big confessions here people...I did this!  Guess what?  It didn't work.  She still wouldn't go out.  Half way through the game she decided she would go stand by Dan while he was coaching.  She started to get more comfortable.  And finally, during the last quarter, he was able to get Mya into the game. 

After the game, I asked Dan how he handled it when she refused to come out in front of the crowd and play.  You know what he said?  He said, "I told her that I love her and it is okay if she is afraid.  She can join when she feels ready.  I told her that I don't love her any less because she is scared."  Gulp!  He handled it with such sweetness and gentleness.  And I was ready to pay money for a toy to get her to participate.  Leaning on his wisdom would have been the best way to handle that one!  And it made me thankful that he was her first interaction when dealing with her fear.

A Story

I believe that stories of redemption.....or transformation....are meant to be told.  I don't see any reason to keep them to ourselves.  Because what they demonstrate and what they share are testimonies of God's grace.  And I think it is beautiful when that happens.  I was just talking with a group of women the other day as we were planning our "talk" for the high school students this Sunday.  We were talking about how awesome it is to have the Lord who transforms, molds and shapes us into something even better.  We have the hope and security from Him that makes our hearts more beautiful as we learn and grow and experience life.  We truly experience life abundantly because of Christ.  No one said life would be easy just because you accept Christ.  In fact, I think sometimes it might be harder.

So today I share a story that is near and dear to my heart.  I have shared bits and pieces of it, but never put it all together in my blog.  During our time in California and especially once we got home, I was escalating on the inside.  But I didn't know it until it was too late.  I had stifled a lot of feelings and thoughts and ideas and came to the point that I realized I had a lot to share and it needed to get out.  Unfortunately, it came out as a "meltdown."  The kind that is very embarrassing...that you wish you could undo...but you can't.  The kind that left Dan and me very vulnerable and at a crossroads.  It was my birthday party...August 29, 2012...and I was at the point where I was ready to explode.  And I did.  We ordered Chipotle for my party because I thought it would be easier on everyone else.  The orders got all messed up, I was frustrated with Dan and one comment was made that allowed for the tears to just stream out.  I cried in front of my guests.  No one had a clue what was going on or why I was upset.  Dan and I went inside at that moment and were surrounded by his mom and aunt.  They listened, they talked, and listened some more.  They helped us sort things out for the time being so we could join the party again. Dan spent some time with his uncle so he could talk things out.  It was just completely a mess and something I wouldn't want to do again.  But without this eruption, the beautiful transformation that has taken place simply wouldn't have happened.  God used this experience to do a marvelous work in my life, Dan's life and in our children's lives.  To God be the glory for what came of this.

So what caused the eruption?  Looking back it was a lot of suppressing of feelings, not sharing with Dan when I should have.  It was a lot of not being true to myself.  Instead of working as a team with Dan, I just held back and let bitterness take root.  But most importantly it was about letting go of perfectionism and learning to love who God made me to be. 

Here is where the story gets good!  We had to pick up the pieces after this incident.  Dan had a lot of questions for me.  He was confused and hurt.  We had a lot of talking to do.  And talking is exactly what we did....a lot of it.  And this is where the change took place.  God used that time of talking to the wee hours of the night.  He used it to help us see deeper into each other's hearts.  He used it to grow us much closer together.  He used it to make us better people.  He used it for His glory.

We recovered beautifully....but it wasn't easy.  It took a lot of hard work on our part.  We talked and we dated and we worked 110% on our relationship.  We courted each other, we set goals and worked on them.  We rekindled our admiration for each other.  The love never went away. 

While all of these changes were taking place, Dan took a job at a nearby hospital and worked there for a year.  He wanted to pursue a travelling job again, but I didn't want him to.  So he settled for a job that was just okay for him.  Now fast forward to the Fall of 2013 and he had the itch to research travelling jobs yet again.  Through my mentoring time with a wonderful woman from church I was challenged to explore the tight hold that I had on Dan and his job.  I was terrified to have him change and wanted to control that aspect of our life.  But one evening I let it go.  I gave it to God and had peace.  So now the story gets even cooler!  As soon as I let go and confessed to Dan....God moved.  Dan began researching travel jobs but nothing was working out.  At the same time, we got a random Facebook message from a friend that Dan worked with when we were first married.  He messaged Dan because the company that he works for wanted to start a business in Ohio.  They needed a director for Ohio and he highly recommended Dan for the job.  Dan decided to pursue the lead and one thing led to another and.......he is in that job now.  He works from home, he is learning a business, and he has room to grow in the job. 

As a family, we are closer and stronger than ever.  We love to be together, we have developed common interests and are being knit tight.  I joke around about getting married again (to Dan of course) because we are that much more in love then when we met.  I love him in new ways and the love just seems to get deeper and stronger with time.  We came to a crossroads in 2012 and we followed God's lead.  And we are better because of it.  My message to any young couple out there would be to NOT expect your new husband to "complete" you.  That is never going to happen because you have to be complete in Christ.  Your mission should be to allow God to change you....in fact, you should be begging for God to change you....instead of trying to change everyone else.