Monday, April 21, 2014
The Story of a Wedding Band
So....pretty cool story! On our wedding night, after all the craziness of the wedding day, we settled into a nice hotel and Dan presented me with a plain silver wedding band. He said that some day I might not want to wear my diamond ring and I might want to wear a simple band instead. Like if I was playing sports or something and the diamond would get in the way. It was a very sweet gesture, but I put the ring away for when I might need it....and I forgot about it.
About a week ago, Dan and I were sitting down for the evening to watch television and I noticed that my diamond wedding ring didn't feel right. I pulled my hand out from under the blanket and saw that the diamond was missing. Ugh! We made it almost ten years and I have never lost my ring or the diamond. The good news is that we had insurance on it so it is getting fixed. Thank goodness! But I was suddenly without something on my left hand. The left hand that has had a ring on it for so long. The next morning after I lost my ring I went to my jewelry organizer to find a necklace to wear with my outfit. And as I was searching around my eye caught sight of the single wedding band that Dan gave me all those years ago. I was so excited to see it and know that I was finally having the moment that he bought it for.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Life Is Good
Doesn't this picture just warm your heart?? My baby isn't such a baby anymore. She can almost reach the sink to wash her hands. She can put her shoes on by herself. She can open doors without my assistance. She is almost four. Where has the time gone? I was able to spend the day with my girls today and it was wonderful. Dan came down with the flu virus on Thursday night and has been down for the last two days. So this weekend has become a "girls" weekend. Luckily I started the morning with an eight mile run (very early), which gave me the energy to be with them all day. And I released some extra endorphins, which is always helpful. Our day was full of a lot of activity, but I found myself laughing and enjoying the girls a lot. I also found myself really missing my husband. That companionship and the comforts of parenting the kids together just wasn't the same today. Hopefully he will be better tomorrow. He said he has a super busy week coming up so he needs his energy back. I am so proud of that man! He is building his business well and is close to getting his first office and office manager.
Mya started soccer last week for the first time ever. Can I just tell you that I am so excited to be a "soccer mom." I have had dreams of being a sports mom and it is finally coming true. She loves running so I am hoping this might be a good sport for her. Basketball didn't pan out to be her favorite thing. She was scared of handling the ball and it wasn't fun for her. It is all about trial and error at this age. I am proud of her for trying another new thing even though basketball was a tougher experience for her. It seems like since we have been handling her anxieties differently she is starting to face little fears one step at a time. I went to bible study last week and Dan had an evening with the girls. He spent a lot of extra time that night with Mya talking about her fears and made some good progress with her. She got a new fish today, which was crazy exciting for her. She told me that when she worries about things she will go look at her fish and feel better. That was sweet to hear!
Smoothies are still a big part of our life. It has been about three years that we have been making these on a daily basis. One a day...four cups at a time. So yummy and so good for our bellies. I know when I go a day without one. My body doesn't like it. Here is my favorite recipe that I like to have as a dessert at night. Enjoy!
Chocolate Peanut Butter Green Smoothie
1 cup almond milk
1 Tbsp natural peanut butter (check your ingredients list....it should only be peanuts)
2 Tbsp Cacao powder (I buy this at the Vitamin Store)
2 tsp vanilla
2 cups spinach
1 cup ice
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Much Thanks
I just have to take a moment to thank my readers! I have received some amazing feedback from my last post about Mya's anxiety. I mean....some really good advice. You have all comforted and confirmed and shared similar experiences. It has been so encouraging. I had a heart change the other day and have since altered the way I react to Mya. And I have seen the benefits already to just letting her have the fears...letting her own them....and letting her feel them. She is such a huge part of our lives and when you parent you hurt when your child hurts. We are learning and growing with her and I am thankful for any advice given.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Let It Go
Anyone seen this movie as many times as I have? As much as I LOVE the music, I have it heard a few too many times in our house.
One of the popular songs from this movie is called "Let It Go." The main theme of the movie is about a sister who has ice powers and doesn't know how to control them. But when an act of love (her sister giving her life to save her) is committed then she is released to become herself and learns how to control her gift and use it for good. It is an amazing story of love and acceptance and empowerment and letting go of trying to control things.
I have written in previous blog entries about Mya's anxiety and our struggles with her. She continues to have trouble with worry extensively about things. Dan and I see her joy in life being taken away at times. It weighs heavy on our hearts. We have come to the point that we don't know what to do anymore. We have tried strategy after strategy with her and nothing seems to work.
A friend of mine stopped by yesterday and witnessed Mya's anxiety. I was encouraging Mya to do an activity that I knew she could do, but she convinced herself she couldn't. She had real fears and I did not have the patience for them. But boy does God rescue us when we need a rescuer. Turns out....my friend has an older son who struggled with anxiety when he was Mya's age. She has already been through what I am experiencing. She knew exactly what I was feeling. She confirmed my feelings, but told me to quit pushing. As soon as I did, I could visually see Mya's body relax and respond with gratefulness and peace. She hugged me and thanked me for validating her feelings and her fears....the ones that don't seem real to me but are very real in her mind. When I stopped pushing.....she and I both let go. This is the advice that I received:
"One thing I have learned is that she has to work through the fears with your help. Pushing her doesn't usually help. It just increases her anxiety and your frustration. The harder you push the worse it becomes for both of you. She will work through it. Just try to back off and be patient. Teach her to learn to find comfort in God's words. It might take years, but this is a spiritual battle taking place."
Isn't it so cool when God puts someone in your path to teach and guide? Meeting up with this friend was not a planned event. She just called and showed up three minutes later. So back to the Frozen example, I kind of had a big lesson on learning to let some things go. Fighting Mya on her fears is clearly not working. Meeting her where she is at gives her validation and allows us to have the relationship to communicate about them and work at it...work at finding God's strength and using her gifts for good. I believe in her and I believe that God will never leave her during this process. Just as Elsa learned to control the negative part of her gift and have strong relationships in the end, I know that Mya will persevere and find comfort in "letting go".....whenever that may be.
One of the popular songs from this movie is called "Let It Go." The main theme of the movie is about a sister who has ice powers and doesn't know how to control them. But when an act of love (her sister giving her life to save her) is committed then she is released to become herself and learns how to control her gift and use it for good. It is an amazing story of love and acceptance and empowerment and letting go of trying to control things.
I have written in previous blog entries about Mya's anxiety and our struggles with her. She continues to have trouble with worry extensively about things. Dan and I see her joy in life being taken away at times. It weighs heavy on our hearts. We have come to the point that we don't know what to do anymore. We have tried strategy after strategy with her and nothing seems to work.
A friend of mine stopped by yesterday and witnessed Mya's anxiety. I was encouraging Mya to do an activity that I knew she could do, but she convinced herself she couldn't. She had real fears and I did not have the patience for them. But boy does God rescue us when we need a rescuer. Turns out....my friend has an older son who struggled with anxiety when he was Mya's age. She has already been through what I am experiencing. She knew exactly what I was feeling. She confirmed my feelings, but told me to quit pushing. As soon as I did, I could visually see Mya's body relax and respond with gratefulness and peace. She hugged me and thanked me for validating her feelings and her fears....the ones that don't seem real to me but are very real in her mind. When I stopped pushing.....she and I both let go. This is the advice that I received:
"One thing I have learned is that she has to work through the fears with your help. Pushing her doesn't usually help. It just increases her anxiety and your frustration. The harder you push the worse it becomes for both of you. She will work through it. Just try to back off and be patient. Teach her to learn to find comfort in God's words. It might take years, but this is a spiritual battle taking place."
Isn't it so cool when God puts someone in your path to teach and guide? Meeting up with this friend was not a planned event. She just called and showed up three minutes later. So back to the Frozen example, I kind of had a big lesson on learning to let some things go. Fighting Mya on her fears is clearly not working. Meeting her where she is at gives her validation and allows us to have the relationship to communicate about them and work at it...work at finding God's strength and using her gifts for good. I believe in her and I believe that God will never leave her during this process. Just as Elsa learned to control the negative part of her gift and have strong relationships in the end, I know that Mya will persevere and find comfort in "letting go".....whenever that may be.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Sara Bear
Recently we have recognized that Sara, our middle child, has an awesome sense of humor. She likes to make people laugh. Just the other day she played a fun joke on me. Every night at dinner, we pray for a family on one of the Christmas cards that we got at Christmas time. The girls have fallen in love with this activity. So Sara decided to color a picture of Strawberry Shortcake and place the picture in our cabinet with the Christmas cards. So when we went to pick our card for dinner we grabbed Strawberry shortcake. She thought she was so funny for being sneaky.
Today I heard her laughing hysterically when I was schooling Mya. Turns out she had a little photo session with herself on the IPad. Too cute!
Today I heard her laughing hysterically when I was schooling Mya. Turns out she had a little photo session with herself on the IPad. Too cute!
Saturday, February 22, 2014
The Perfection Infection
Do you ever wonder what God will say to you when you get to heaven? I was thinking about this question when I was running this morning. I would hope that He would say, "Well done good and faithful servant."
I was at bible study last Tuesday evening and we were talking about a book called No More Perfect Moms by Jill Savage. She has this concept called the Perfection Infection. Moms, especially, tend to join in on the comparison game and in the process lose self-esteem and worth. We look to the wrong thing to give us comfort and confidence. Comparison breeds insecurity. And suddenly we don't like what we look like in the mirror. One of the culprits of this is social media. The author said that years ago we might see the Jones Family (you know, the one that looks and seems perfect) maybe once a week. But with social media we see that family multiple times a day. Facebook is one avenue that we discussed. We put our best pictures and comments on Facebook. So when one insecure mom gets on Facebook that day, she goes off feeling completely defeated. By no means do I think that posting great pictures and comments is a bad thing. By no means do I think that getting your hair done or wearing make up is a bad thing. But as moms we have to develop that inner confidence so social media doesn't cause us to stumble. Wouldn't it be great to get on Facebook and see those "perfect" pictures and know deep inside that that isn't true reality every day for that family? And know that the life that we have is enough and good. We unfairly compare ourselves to others, but we all struggle with similar challenges in life one way or another. We have to change our expectations and love the "imperfect" lives that we live along with everyone else.
Our bible study leader came up with this great suggestion that we were certain she wouldn't actually do. She challenged us to take a picture of ourselves when we wake up in the morning....no hair do and no makeup.....just our "real" selves. And she took it a step further and challenged us to post it on Facebook. So the next morning I woke up and checked my email. I had a post on my page and it was a morning picture of our leader. What!! I might be calm, cool and collective, but I never turn down a challenge. I am secretly kind of competitive. I know, I know....it didn't show on the tennis court, but it does show when I play card games or board games or at my boot camp class. I couldn't let her be the only one who posted her picture. So I got my camera and started shooting selfies of my morning look. I have to be totally honest and say that it took multiple shots before I was comfortable with one of them. But looking back at those shots....they all looked the same. I finally settled on a picture and put it on Facebook. Again, it took me some more time before I could actually hit the "post" button to make my picture go "live." Through this experience I realized how uncomfortable I am with outward appearance before doing my hair and putting on makeup. And actually following through with posting a picture started to tear some of those walls down for me. I couldn't escape it and I couldn't control who was looking at it. I posted the "real" me and I had to be okay with it. I looked at myself and saw the wrinkles around my eyes and crooked teeth. But as I read everyone's comments about my picture, I realized that the word "beautiful" was used over and over again. Most of who looked at my picture knew the real me. They knew my heart. They didn't look at the picture the same way that I did. Over time I became comfortable with the picture. It is now my profile picture....another challenge for us! I found myself saying, "It is what it is." If we are all honest with ourselves, we would share that we all struggle with things. We all fall short of our own standard of excellence. We compare our insides to others' outsides. Or our outsides to others outsides. But our expectations and reality should be that God has given us grace and beauty in an imperfect life. I wake up each morning looking like the "real" picture below.....and Dan rolls over and calls me beautiful. I can't help but think and know that God calls me that and so much more!
It is fun to feel pretty and make myself up for Dan on date nights. It is great to show the kids that I care about my outsides too. They need to see me taking care of myself and having confidence in my looks. But they also need to grow up seeing how imperfect I am as their mom. And knowing that it is completely okay. As Jill Savage puts it so eloquently in her book, "Take off insecurity, tell yourself that you are enough, and put on confidence by embracing your strengths and your weaknesses." I might have some wrinkles around my eyes, but there is wisdom that came from getting those wrinkles!
Two different pictures below......but the same heart.
I was at bible study last Tuesday evening and we were talking about a book called No More Perfect Moms by Jill Savage. She has this concept called the Perfection Infection. Moms, especially, tend to join in on the comparison game and in the process lose self-esteem and worth. We look to the wrong thing to give us comfort and confidence. Comparison breeds insecurity. And suddenly we don't like what we look like in the mirror. One of the culprits of this is social media. The author said that years ago we might see the Jones Family (you know, the one that looks and seems perfect) maybe once a week. But with social media we see that family multiple times a day. Facebook is one avenue that we discussed. We put our best pictures and comments on Facebook. So when one insecure mom gets on Facebook that day, she goes off feeling completely defeated. By no means do I think that posting great pictures and comments is a bad thing. By no means do I think that getting your hair done or wearing make up is a bad thing. But as moms we have to develop that inner confidence so social media doesn't cause us to stumble. Wouldn't it be great to get on Facebook and see those "perfect" pictures and know deep inside that that isn't true reality every day for that family? And know that the life that we have is enough and good. We unfairly compare ourselves to others, but we all struggle with similar challenges in life one way or another. We have to change our expectations and love the "imperfect" lives that we live along with everyone else.
Our bible study leader came up with this great suggestion that we were certain she wouldn't actually do. She challenged us to take a picture of ourselves when we wake up in the morning....no hair do and no makeup.....just our "real" selves. And she took it a step further and challenged us to post it on Facebook. So the next morning I woke up and checked my email. I had a post on my page and it was a morning picture of our leader. What!! I might be calm, cool and collective, but I never turn down a challenge. I am secretly kind of competitive. I know, I know....it didn't show on the tennis court, but it does show when I play card games or board games or at my boot camp class. I couldn't let her be the only one who posted her picture. So I got my camera and started shooting selfies of my morning look. I have to be totally honest and say that it took multiple shots before I was comfortable with one of them. But looking back at those shots....they all looked the same. I finally settled on a picture and put it on Facebook. Again, it took me some more time before I could actually hit the "post" button to make my picture go "live." Through this experience I realized how uncomfortable I am with outward appearance before doing my hair and putting on makeup. And actually following through with posting a picture started to tear some of those walls down for me. I couldn't escape it and I couldn't control who was looking at it. I posted the "real" me and I had to be okay with it. I looked at myself and saw the wrinkles around my eyes and crooked teeth. But as I read everyone's comments about my picture, I realized that the word "beautiful" was used over and over again. Most of who looked at my picture knew the real me. They knew my heart. They didn't look at the picture the same way that I did. Over time I became comfortable with the picture. It is now my profile picture....another challenge for us! I found myself saying, "It is what it is." If we are all honest with ourselves, we would share that we all struggle with things. We all fall short of our own standard of excellence. We compare our insides to others' outsides. Or our outsides to others outsides. But our expectations and reality should be that God has given us grace and beauty in an imperfect life. I wake up each morning looking like the "real" picture below.....and Dan rolls over and calls me beautiful. I can't help but think and know that God calls me that and so much more!
It is fun to feel pretty and make myself up for Dan on date nights. It is great to show the kids that I care about my outsides too. They need to see me taking care of myself and having confidence in my looks. But they also need to grow up seeing how imperfect I am as their mom. And knowing that it is completely okay. As Jill Savage puts it so eloquently in her book, "Take off insecurity, tell yourself that you are enough, and put on confidence by embracing your strengths and your weaknesses." I might have some wrinkles around my eyes, but there is wisdom that came from getting those wrinkles!
Two different pictures below......but the same heart.
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