Tea Party

A friend from church called me up the other day and told me that I needed to take the girls to a tea place in downtown Pleasanton.  She said she would watch Chloe for me so I could take Mya and Sara.  She made the reservations for us and when she showed up to pick up Chloe on the tea party day...she handed me a gift card to pay for all of our food.  What a sweet surprise!  The girls and I had tea (well....they had hot chocolate) and we ate sandwiches and pastries.  It was wonderful!

The Princess Plate (for the girls)

The Queen plate (for ME!!!)

 Hot tea (my favorite)

Birthday surprise for Sara

Ahhh.....sisters!

The Queen and her Princesses

Grace

A word I am thinking a lot about lately.  It is Mya’s middle name…..and it is in the title of the book I am reading….and it is something that we certainly want to communicate to our children as we raise them.  It is something that God passes on to us and we should do likewise.  We have been challenged lately with Mya.  Overall, she has become a very respectful, obedient little girl.  She loves to please others and looks out for her sisters.  She helps me out all the time and has been known to say out of the blue, “Mommy, is there anything I can do right now to help make things easier for you?”  She is only five! She is a good girl.  But when it comes to sleeping, we have struggled with her.  She does not like to go to sleep…for naps or at night.  She wakes up multiple times throughout the night to come into our room and just give us a kiss (which was okay in the beginning, but makes us tired and cranky in the morning due to being woken up many times).  We have our biggest battles with her about sleep.  She gets scared at night and we have tried to work with her on that.  She just plain doesn’t like to take a nap.  And most of the time that is fine with me, expect when I know that she didn’t sleep much the night before and I know she really needs the sleep.  She has turned the sleep battles into very big ones….or I could say that we have turned the sleep battles into big ones too.  After having a power struggle with her a few nights ago, Dan and I sat up talking about how to work with her by maybe using a different approach.  We decided that we needed to take a completely different approach and help her calm herself before we discussed the topic of disrespect or disobeying.  See what happens is she gets worked up and then acts defiant.  When in fact, we think, that if the fear is addressed then it wouldn’t even need to become a battle.  The fear and the disobedience get jumbled up sometimes…..as we try to discern true fear versus just not wanting to go to sleep. For nap time, all she wants is to sleep at my side or on me.  But sometimes that isn’t always a possibility if I have chores to do.  So yesterday I had the chance to experiment with her.  She dug her heels in with her nap, it escalated, she got worked up because I wanted her to obey and take her nap, and finally I gave up the fight and took her in my arms.  I held her and rocked her and she calmed quickly.  And what came from that experience was a confession on her part about her specific fears.  So we talked about them and she climbed into bed and took her nap. 

So this is where the “grace” comes into play. We realize how much more intentional we need to be to extend grace to the kids and respect their fears and dislikes.  We realize that we need to take a second look at the issue that we are fighting them on.  We realize that grace can be extended in many areas as long as obedience and respect are growing in their lives.  Another quick example…..we are getting ready to walk to Wal-Mart (one of our fun family activities at night). Mya asked me if she could wear her purse while we walked there.  I instantly went to say “no” and then I looked at Dan, reconsidered my response, and said “sure!”  I said to Dan, “Is there any reason why I should say no?  Is there anything wrong with her carrying her purse to Wal-Mart?”  We both decided that we say the word “no” too often and we should start to consider why we are saying it and if it is even necessary.  So far….I really like grace-based parenting!  

Princess for the Day

Happy 4th Birthday Sara Bear!  Daddy and Mommy love you so much!

Last Weekend

Last weekend we drove to the top of Mt. Diablo...a place where you can see all around the bay area.  It was stunning!

We also spent some time in Walnut Creek, a really cute town.  The pictures of me and Dan were taken by Mya in Walnut Creek.  She is becoming quite the photographer these days.

Family Photo Shoot

We had the pleasure of meeting a photographer who took family photos for us.  We haven't seen all of them yet, but here are a few samples.  I wanted to make sure we had family photos taken in California to help us remember our time here.

Journey

I experienced "true" rest yesterday. It was a Sunday afternoon. We took the kids to church, came home, ate lunch, and went to the swimming pool for a bit. I took Chloe home early for her nap. I bathed her and then snuggled up with her on the couch. I figured I would put her to bed once she fell asleep. But three hours later we were still snuggled up on the couch together. She woke up in my arms, safe and secure. I rested and she slept so peacefully. It was a wonderful afternoon. Isn't that just how God wants us to feel with Him? I have been on quite a journey here in Pleasanton. For Dan, i believe he was placed here to let go of the hold he had on paying off the debt. I believe I was placed here to experience solitude and see what I am made of. I believe I was placed here to search and discover how much God loves me...and see how He looks at me. I am far from arriving...but I am moving forward. When I first started this blog, I mentioned that I wanted to be honest while journaling our life experiences here. Well, the honesty for me is that I have struggled with perfectionism for years and years. And it has come to light here that it was time to face the ugliness and start to learn about God's view of me. Because my view of myself isn't so pretty. And I have since realized how hurtful that is to the master who created me a certain way. So I am on the road to healing and recovery from trying to control things. I am on the road to finding true rest. It doesn't mean I need to change my personality, but guilt and shame and worry and comparing myself to others and all of those toxic things do not need to be in my life as they were before. You know what is crazy??? Since I started truly confronting these things....my e-mail devotions have ALL been centered on these topics. I get devotions from Proverbs 31 ministry and Purpose Driven Life. Each day for the last couple weeks the topics have been on forgiveness, rest, confidence, self-identity, eliminating negative self talk, not pleasing others, and many more amazing life lessons. I have been given scripture to help me with this. For example, "When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." 2Cor 10:12 Or........Romans 8:28, Phil 1:6, Eph 2:10 and Phil 4:13 are all good verses about our purpose and significance. Finally, I am excited about this journey and where it will take me. I am wide open for learning and working on things and letting God work on the inner beauty that needs the most attention. That is where I want to grow and I know the rest will follow. Wouldn't you know....yesterday's teaching at church was on inner beauty!

Where Are We Now?

Just hangin out in sunny Pleasanton! We are down to less than 5 weeks...but who is counting, right? The weather has been beautiful here and guess what??....I finally met a dear friend. Right before it is time to leave, but I am so thankful for this. Patience is such a virtue..one I am constantly working on. I went to the final MOPS meeting and heard this amazing testimony from a girl who was to become the new coordinator for the upcoming year. She talked about how she and her husband got saved a couple years ago. Her story was powerful and genuine. I didn't meet her that day, but the next week I attended a book study and she just happened to be the leader. And there are only three of us in the study...the other groups have at least 10 people in them. The book we are reading is called Real Moms Real Jesus...side note. So the day after our first book study this friend calls me up and asks if she can take me and the girls to the Oakland zoo for the day. She has a Suburban so we all got to ride together. It was a beautiful day and my girls and her two boys had so much fun together. We rode a train at the zoo and were able to see a view of the bay area from atop a large foothill. It was breathtaking. This friend and I enjoyed a great day of talking and learning about each other. It was SO what I needed! This week I showed up for the book study and it was just the two of us. We had a hour and a half to just talk about life, Jesus, struggles, hopes, dreams, etc. without our children. It was refreshing and definitely by design that we met just weeks ago. Each week until we leave she is taking me and the kids on some sort of adventure. On another topic...I am reading a new book. Well, actually Dan and I are going to read it together but I got a head start. Before we moved you never would have seen me pick up a book and actually finish it. I was so busy I didn't even have time to really learn my children. I have learned some great lessons while being away...and one of them is to put my kids first. But aside from that, I have had extra time here so I have enjoyed reading. I always loved studying in school so it has been fun to read about topics that interest me. So our new book is called Grace Based Parenting. We kind of wore holes in the pages of the Raising Godly Tomatoes book and I think I have it memorized. We know what strategies work for our family from that book so it was time to put that book on the shelf and read a new one to help us continue to evolve as parents. There is always something to learn, right? This book seems to focus on the concept of communicating grace in your home. I am all about that so bring it on! And in the back of the book are study questions if you want to read it with your spouse. I am excited to start this new adventure and learn how to raise our kids with grace as they are getting older.