I just have to take a moment to thank my readers! I have received some amazing feedback from my last post about Mya's anxiety. I mean....some really good advice. You have all comforted and confirmed and shared similar experiences. It has been so encouraging. I had a heart change the other day and have since altered the way I react to Mya. And I have seen the benefits already to just letting her have the fears...letting her own them....and letting her feel them. She is such a huge part of our lives and when you parent you hurt when your child hurts. We are learning and growing with her and I am thankful for any advice given.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Let It Go
Anyone seen this movie as many times as I have? As much as I LOVE the music, I have it heard a few too many times in our house.
One of the popular songs from this movie is called "Let It Go." The main theme of the movie is about a sister who has ice powers and doesn't know how to control them. But when an act of love (her sister giving her life to save her) is committed then she is released to become herself and learns how to control her gift and use it for good. It is an amazing story of love and acceptance and empowerment and letting go of trying to control things.
I have written in previous blog entries about Mya's anxiety and our struggles with her. She continues to have trouble with worry extensively about things. Dan and I see her joy in life being taken away at times. It weighs heavy on our hearts. We have come to the point that we don't know what to do anymore. We have tried strategy after strategy with her and nothing seems to work.
A friend of mine stopped by yesterday and witnessed Mya's anxiety. I was encouraging Mya to do an activity that I knew she could do, but she convinced herself she couldn't. She had real fears and I did not have the patience for them. But boy does God rescue us when we need a rescuer. Turns out....my friend has an older son who struggled with anxiety when he was Mya's age. She has already been through what I am experiencing. She knew exactly what I was feeling. She confirmed my feelings, but told me to quit pushing. As soon as I did, I could visually see Mya's body relax and respond with gratefulness and peace. She hugged me and thanked me for validating her feelings and her fears....the ones that don't seem real to me but are very real in her mind. When I stopped pushing.....she and I both let go. This is the advice that I received:
"One thing I have learned is that she has to work through the fears with your help. Pushing her doesn't usually help. It just increases her anxiety and your frustration. The harder you push the worse it becomes for both of you. She will work through it. Just try to back off and be patient. Teach her to learn to find comfort in God's words. It might take years, but this is a spiritual battle taking place."
Isn't it so cool when God puts someone in your path to teach and guide? Meeting up with this friend was not a planned event. She just called and showed up three minutes later. So back to the Frozen example, I kind of had a big lesson on learning to let some things go. Fighting Mya on her fears is clearly not working. Meeting her where she is at gives her validation and allows us to have the relationship to communicate about them and work at it...work at finding God's strength and using her gifts for good. I believe in her and I believe that God will never leave her during this process. Just as Elsa learned to control the negative part of her gift and have strong relationships in the end, I know that Mya will persevere and find comfort in "letting go".....whenever that may be.
One of the popular songs from this movie is called "Let It Go." The main theme of the movie is about a sister who has ice powers and doesn't know how to control them. But when an act of love (her sister giving her life to save her) is committed then she is released to become herself and learns how to control her gift and use it for good. It is an amazing story of love and acceptance and empowerment and letting go of trying to control things.
I have written in previous blog entries about Mya's anxiety and our struggles with her. She continues to have trouble with worry extensively about things. Dan and I see her joy in life being taken away at times. It weighs heavy on our hearts. We have come to the point that we don't know what to do anymore. We have tried strategy after strategy with her and nothing seems to work.
A friend of mine stopped by yesterday and witnessed Mya's anxiety. I was encouraging Mya to do an activity that I knew she could do, but she convinced herself she couldn't. She had real fears and I did not have the patience for them. But boy does God rescue us when we need a rescuer. Turns out....my friend has an older son who struggled with anxiety when he was Mya's age. She has already been through what I am experiencing. She knew exactly what I was feeling. She confirmed my feelings, but told me to quit pushing. As soon as I did, I could visually see Mya's body relax and respond with gratefulness and peace. She hugged me and thanked me for validating her feelings and her fears....the ones that don't seem real to me but are very real in her mind. When I stopped pushing.....she and I both let go. This is the advice that I received:
"One thing I have learned is that she has to work through the fears with your help. Pushing her doesn't usually help. It just increases her anxiety and your frustration. The harder you push the worse it becomes for both of you. She will work through it. Just try to back off and be patient. Teach her to learn to find comfort in God's words. It might take years, but this is a spiritual battle taking place."
Isn't it so cool when God puts someone in your path to teach and guide? Meeting up with this friend was not a planned event. She just called and showed up three minutes later. So back to the Frozen example, I kind of had a big lesson on learning to let some things go. Fighting Mya on her fears is clearly not working. Meeting her where she is at gives her validation and allows us to have the relationship to communicate about them and work at it...work at finding God's strength and using her gifts for good. I believe in her and I believe that God will never leave her during this process. Just as Elsa learned to control the negative part of her gift and have strong relationships in the end, I know that Mya will persevere and find comfort in "letting go".....whenever that may be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)