A Few Steps Back

Ephesians 6:14 "So stand ready, with truth as a belt tight around your waist, with righteousness as your breastplate..."

Transparency. A difficult thing for me. I have felt convicted to work on this. I question my integrity if I am not the same to everyone. I like for things to look like everything is alright. But I am called to be truthful in every area of my life. Is this difficult for anyone else? I like when things are good with my kids, in my marriage, or even with how I am doing emotionally. But that is tough. I pray for maturity with integrity.

Yesterday was my birthday. It was hard to have a birthday away from home. We got pizza for dinner and then I went to a movie with my neighbor. I didn't realize how much I needed the time away from the kids. I tend to be a martyr with my time. I silently suffer until it is too late and I am tired and frustrated. I don't accept Dan's offers to get out for the evening because I feel like I have to be home to make sure everything is okay. And so this begins my confession of needing to work on being truthful. God calls me to honest and authentic. It is harder to be this way when I am away from home. But I have complete faith that I can do much better with putting the belt of truth around me to keep Satan's temptations out.

The other area that I want to be transparent about involves the children. I just want to encourage all of you parents out there who struggle with raising children. It is not easy! We are still following our new strategies, but there are setbacks. We do take a few steps back, a few steps forward, and then a few more steps back again. Our beach trip was awesome....but there were some snags along the way with the kids. It seems like little by little we have let up on consistency with the kids only to find that old behaviors creep back. And Satan loves to feast on these moments. The kids were just plain hyper....probably due to excitement from the trip. But they were tough and we realized quickly that we need to tighten up again..."tomato stake." So that is what we did on my birthday. Sweet, dear little Chloe has suddenly figured out the joys of irritating mommy and daddy while throwing tantrums. I mean, blood curdling screams when she doesn't get her own way. Now we have added a third kid to "tomato stake." I just wanted you all to know that even though we are thriving here and enjoying our trips, we still stumble and we still fall, quite often. So we choose to plug away with our kids and choose to pray for God to strengthen our abilities to fight spiritual warfare as it comes.

Surf City USA

The title of our blog is very appropriate for our trip to the beach.  It has been about a month since we have gone on an excursion and I think the girls forgot how to travel.  The whole way here they asked us, “Are we there yet?” so many times.  It took us about five hours to get to Newport Beach from Porterville.  We hit a lot of traffic in the L.A. area, which slowed us down quite a bit.  We arrived at our hotel on Friday evening around 9pm.  We landed at a four star hotel, which we got on Priceline for $80 a night.  We had a wonderful king size bed, which was all squishy and so comfortable.  We brought an air mattress for the girls and the pack in play for Chloe.  The accommodations were amazing.

We woke up Saturday morning and were out the door by 7am.  If you want to find a parking spot at the beach, you have to beat the crowd.  Our timing was perfect.  We arrived at Huntington Beach, which was about 15 minutes from our hotel.  Right across from the parking lot was a Jamba Juice, which has become our favorite smoothie place.  We got breakfast for all of us there and headed to the beach.  Right away we found a surf shop called Zach’s.  Dan signed up for his surfing lessons at the group price…except he was the only one in the group.  Perfect!  He headed out to surf with his instructor while the girls and I played on the beach all morning.  Mya, especially, LOVED the beach life.  She played in the freezing cold water and made some friends on her own.  Chloe took a great nap in her stroller (thanks to a MOPS mom in Porterville who lent us her stroller).  I had fun taking pictures of Dan surfing, but was a little shocked when, about a half hour into his lesson, he came out of the water with his instructor and had blood dripping down his face.  The surf board whacked him in the head pretty close to his eye.  But he was a trooper.  They super glued his cut together, put a band aid on it, and back out into the water he went.  He was very determined to learn the skill of surfing.  His instructor kept telling me that he hasn’t seen someone with this much determination and lack of fear as he was seeing in Dan.  He was laughing because Dan paddled all the way out to the bigger waves with the “big boys.”  He said he hasn’t seen a student do that in a long time either.  The rest of his surfing session went great.

Here we are at Jamba Juice for breakfast....

Here we are on the pier at Huntington Beach.....

I used the self timer to take this picture and had no idea that Dan was done renting his surfboard.  He just showed up in the picture at the right time.  I think it looks pretty cool with him in the background.

And now for the surfing pictures!

 Here is the wounded victim after having his gash super glued together.....

 Chloe missed her Daddy...

After the beach, we headed back to the hotel for nap time.  I was able to escape for a workout session all by myself.  After everyone woke up, we let the kids have some pool time at the hotel.  Then the family humored me and my brilliant plan to get a family picture of us on the beach.  We had very little time to get dinner, get the family showered and dressed and drive to the beach before the sun set.  Well, we made it to a pretty spot just as the sun was setting.  We did not make it to the beach and the crew was somewhat grumpy so we pulled off the side of the rode and took pictures fast.  I was really hoping for a beach scene, but I’ll take what we got.

 We were all so exhausted from our day that everyone was asleep by 9pm.  The kids went to bed very easy.  Sunday morning we woke up around 8am, packed up the kids, checked out of the hotel, and went right back to our Huntington Beach sight where Dan surfed.  We spent yet another morning at the beach and Dan rented a surf board and wet suit.  He was pretty sore from the previous day but couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try surfing again.  He was really getting the hang of it by the end of his two hour session.  We headed back home to Porterville around noon…..back to the 100 degree weather.  The beach weather was in the 70’s and of course the pleasant ocean breeze was great too. This was the best trip so far!

Book Reviews

Many of you have asked about the parenting books that we are reading so I thought I would do a brief overview of each one. But let me make sure that I give credit to the Cutlip family for introducing us to these books. Thank you!

The first book is called Raising Godly Tomatoes by Elizabeth Krueger. She has her own website www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com. If you have young children, like infants and toddlers, then I would recommend this book. She is very strong on some of her beliefs so you have to take what you like from the book and use it. Her main concepts are excellent. We have implemented her concept of "tomato staking" and have seen quite a difference in the girls. Her book is very practical, hands on information that you could try out the first day you read the book. She teaches how to train for immediate obedience with your children.

The second book is Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. I can't say enough wonderful things about this one. It teaches you to approach parenting from a biblical viewpoint. You are taught to diagnose your child's heart before you discipline. It is not as hands on as the other book because it is more of a philosophy on how to work with your kids. This is a book for parents who have kids of all ages. It also teaches you to train for obedience. I like this book a lot because it was written by a man, which made it easier for Dan to read and identify with the author.

Blue Eyed Girls

We don’t have anything new to report lately about life in California.  Things are great and we are still very happy here.  I have joined the choir in our teeny tiny church and love singing again.  It has been a while.  I am one of three altos in the choir.  It is small, but it sounds really great (especially since I joined….totally kidding!).  I am there to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, not to sing on key.  I have been running on a regular basis and doing cross fit workouts.  I run early in the morning when the weather is cool and it has been wonderful. Dan continues to love his job at the hospital.  He is back to lifting weights since his arm injury.  He promises NOT to ever do weighted pull ups again.  We will see about that.  He is looking quite buff again and the nurses have started nicknaming him things like…”Ken” (from Barbie and Ken…..I wonder if they met me, would they name me Barbie???  Just kidding) and “Dan the Man.”  I have started school with Mya in the afternoons while the other two nap.  She has suddenly developed with her educational skills and is writing letters and numbers.  I am borrowing a reading program from the library so we can start working on sight words and other early kindergarten skills.  Mya is a sponge with information and I feel so blessed to be her teacher.  It is exciting to see your child want to learn.  She is quite the thinker.  Her wheels are spinning in her mind all the time.  Like just the other night she lay in bed for over an hour coming up with questions about tornadoes.  Her mind is amazing.  She woke us up to ask us what happens to the animals in the zoo if there is a tornado. Sara is goofy and very loving.  She blesses us with hugs quite often.  She is fun and extremely easy going.  It is neat to see Dan and my personalities coming out in the kids.  Chloe is on the move constantly.  This weekend she learned how to pull herself up to a standing position on the furniture.  It won’t be long before she is walking.  She turns one in a month and a half.  That went fast!  She is starting to exert her will because she is mobile so I am doing obedience training with her.  It is much easier to train for that before they can talk back.  Life is good as we have settled into a routine here.  We hope to take some weekend trips soon to Huntington Beach, San Diego, and San Francisco.  Dan has wanted to surf his whole life and we are going to make that happen while we are here.  I will definitely get some good shots of that. 

Below are updated pictures of the growing girls.

Shepherding My Heart

We continue to plug away at approaching parenting with biblical guidance. We are seeing some great changes in the kids. I see that their hearts are being changed and the good behavior follows. I used to force behavior change and not even consider trying to find out what their heart was communicating. We have had to change our thinking completely and it has been a challenge. The thing that I have learned the most is that I have to be growing spiritually or else I start to stray with implementing the parenting strategies. For example, if I don't know biblical truth about anger (proverbs 14:29) then I am much more likely to just react with anger. But when I know the truth and I am studying it, God gives me the tools I need to stay away from responding with any anger. So now I can gauge where I am spiritually based upon how I am responding to the kids. A good indicator that I have strayed is when I am intervening with a situation (ex. kids fighting) and I am not sure how to respond according to biblical truth. When I find myself at a loss for intervention strategies, I have to consider what biblical truth I need to learn so I have the right tools. I have to be right with the Lord in order to respond appropriately. I have to have the knowledge to be able to teach truth to their hearts. I need to know God like I am teaching them to know God. Another example is when the girls get hurt because a friend says they can't play with their toy. I want to intervene and tell the friend to share, but instead I can share truth with my girls and teach them to respond with kindness no matter what. In Romans 12:17-21 we learn that we are to never take revenge and be at peace with all men. Wow! Now I can take that truth and help the girls practically apply it to their situation. I can teach their hearts to respond in a Christlike manner. But.....the catch is that I need to know the truth in order to teach it.

Princesses for the Day

The girls had a lot of fun with their "Mama" (my mom).  She came for a quick visit to California and treated the girls like princesses for the day at the mall. 

Sara and Chloe were very brave and got their ears pierced.

Then they got princess shoes.

And Hello Kitty pajamas.

 
And swimming barbies.

What fun!

Anniversary

They say that the traditional gift for a 7 year wedding anniversary is copper, wool and a desk set. Interesting! I think I will accept our current journey to California as my gift. Dan has given me a wonderful present by taking quite a risk in life to take care of his family. I couldn't ask for a better gift or a more loving husband. Do you know that for every day of our 7 years together he has not missed telling me that he loves me...not one day! I never imagined that was possible, but I am here to tell you that it is.  And it is quite helpful, on the days that I am grumpy, to hear someone still tell me, "I love you."



I have been contemplating what to write for this blog and decided to do some highlights from our seven years together.  We have had some pretty funny moments.  Every marraige has ups and downs and ours has been the same.  But through it all, we keep coming out on top with our commitment and love for each other.  Now sit back, relax, and enjoy some interesting stories of the life of Dan and Julie.



On our wedding night, which is a night I will never ever forget...so much excitement and fun....Dan decided to surprise me by lighting candles in the hotel room.  Don't worry, I am not going to share actual details of the wedding night.  But I came around the corner of our suite to a very smiley Dan and candles burning all around the bed.  Rather than showing my appreciation for what he had done, I frantically ran around the room blowing all of the candles out as fast as I could.  Dan stood there very stunned.  I was terrified that we were going to set off the smoke alarm in the hotel so I wouldn't let him keep the candles lit. Luckily we shared a good laugh about it and enjoyed our beautiful, unforgetable evening together.

One of our favorite things that we share together is the love of candy and gum.  I knew it was a match made in heaven when I found out how much he liked these things when we were dating.  That was it...I was hooked.  Now that we are married, it is not a rarity to see us sitting on the couch together at night chewing a whole pack of bubble gum while watching a movie.  We chew, spit it out, get a new piece, chew again, spit it out, and repeat.  This is just a fun little thing that we share together that most people don't know about....but now you do.

Over the years I have enjoyed finding very creative ways to hide vegetables in my dishes when I cook for Dan.  I have been known to chop up veggies into really tiny pieces so he can't see them.  I have even been known to lie to him from time to time about what is NOT in a dish (when I actually DID put it in the dish).  I have experimented with pressuring him, guilting him, and even using the kids as an excues to eat his veggies.  Seven years later I have learned that it is best to treat him as a husband instead of a child.  The more I leave him alone, the more he tries.

Easton in Columbus, Ohio is one of our favorite places to go on our anniversary.  We were just talking about that today while driving in the car.  We will miss going there this year.  We like to stay overnight and shop there.  When we shop there all day we have a habit of buying clothes, going back to the hotel to try them on (we give each other a fashion show), wearing the new clothes back out in the shopping plaza, deciding if we like them or not, and then returning what we don't like.  I used to do this by myself until I met Dan. Silly behavior...I know...but so fun to do together.

There are always fun stories to tell about the births of our three daughters.  Mya's birth is something that I think everyone in the family will remember.  I beleive the whole hospital heard me screaming from her delivery.  But boy was she worth it!  With all three pregnancies I think I took about 8 pregnancy tests until I actually believed I was pregnant.  I just kept taking them and taking them until finally I believed it.  Dan would just smile at me...meanwhile thinking...what a goofy woman.  Little did he know that I probably took more than 8 tests because I would buy them, pee on the stick, smile at the pregnancy sign, and then hide the evidence.  Its like I got a high from peeing on that stick.

Did you know that we broke our bed during our first year of marriage?  And no, we didn't break it by doing anything funky.  We were just laying there one night....and BANG...it crashed to the floor.  We had quite a laugh out of that one.  We spent the next week sleeping on a mattress on our living room floor.  It was a little embarassing when we had to ask Dan's dad to come help us fix our bed.  How do you explain that one?

I will never forget the week that Dan was living with appendicitis and didn't know it.  Oh he just thought he had pulled a muscle.  Well, I guess if you are built of rock then appendicitis is really no big deal...just a small pain in your side.  I got a phone call on a Friday afternoon from Dan and he said, "Hey, I think I might drive myself to the ER.  I am in some pain."  I met him at the ER and he was pale white, leaning over a chair in the waiting room.  His appendix had ruptured at work and he still didn't know how serious his illness was.  I will always respect his pain tolerance.  Then a week later he took me to the ER because I thought I had appendicitis.  Turns out I had a hernia.  What are the odds of us having two surgeries the same month!

This blog is about being real, so I must share about our biggest fight.  We really don't fight very much at all.  We have passion and some heated discussions but they always end with snuggling and hugs and kisses.  I can only think of one fight that took me a while to get over.  We were in Myrtle Beach with Dan's family and I did not want to drive home through the night.  I wanted to drive during the day because Dan gets sleepy behind the wheel.  Well, he dug his heels in and was certain that we needed to drive through the night.  Neither of us would give in to the other.  I just cried a lot that day and he felt like I didn't trust him.  We both regret that day, but learned a lot through that experience too.  We have since learned how to fight healthier and discuss rather than get angry at each other.  I can honestly say that is the biggest fight we ever had in 7 years.

So what have we learned through all of these experiences and our 7 years together?  That marriage is made up of work, commitment, honor, respect, and love.  That marriage is beautiful and just gets better with time.  That marriage has its ups and downs and it is okay.  That God needs to come first for marriage to be a holy union.  That we are one and it is going to stay that way.  Thank you Dan for our life together!

Degunking Your Heart

Ever have those times in your life when you know that your heart is clouded by external things and your relationship with God suffers? You are "gunked" up, as our pastor in Porterville would say. We had an evangelist preach at our church all week and he is an athlete. He also is a professional trumpet player and it is the most amazing thing to hear him play. Anyway, he gave many examples of how if we choose to eat bad stuff for our bodies then our systems get "gunked" up. We need to put good food in our body for our system to work well. The same goes for our spiritual life. I have started to wonder why I am growing more in my spiritual life since we have moved. I think I know why. Due to living cheap, we do not have television or Internet on our computer. And my life is uncluttered because I am not volunteering for tons of things. I have "degunked" my life and am seeing how much healthier I can be in my relationship with Christ. Worldly things can creep in ever so slowly and before we know it Satan has a foothold on our lives. When we had tv at home, I watched reality shows that were not healthy for my heart. I knew it at the time, but I didn't really know how it impacted me until it was taken away. Those things....those small decisions that I made to meet my selfish desires kept me from growing spiritually. Over time my desire for reading the bible was hurt and I didn't take the time to honestly pursue a Godly heart. Changing our parenting style and taking the gunk out of my life has opened my heart's desire to want to read the bible every day and pursue a Godly heart. Worldly things are not all bad, but you have to be ever so careful of what you let into your heart. Satan is just waiting to help you maintain your mediocrity as a Christian. That makes him happy. But imagine how much more God could use you if you pursued a pure heart and said "no" to the extra gunk in your life. I encourage you to look up the verses below and allow God to speak directly to your heart.
2 Timothy 2:3-7

Winning Picture

Each month we are able to enter two photos from our travels to Dan's company for a photo contest.  We submitted for the first time this month and won a cash prize.  Below is the winning picture taken at Yosemite.  Unfortunately we are still debating about who should get the credit.  I think I took the picture and Dan is sure he took it.  Guess we have to share the money (ha ha)!

A Child's Testimony

We have had quite the experience with our neighbor kids. Last week it seemed like they were at our house a lot and I found myself kind of irritated by Friday. I was frustrated with myself for feeling that way, but I have come to learn how to diagnose my irritations quicker before they get too big. So I sat on the couch on Friday night after our kids went to bed, took some deep breaths, opened the bible, and read for a while. Things became clearer for me. I recognized that I was not setting good boundaries with the neighborhood kids. I really like having them at our apartment, but it was consuming my time with my girls. So my special education degree came in handy at that moment. I came up with a plan! I got so excited. I grabbed two pieces of paper from Mya's backpack and a green and red marker. On one page I drew a red stop sign and on the other I drew a green stop sign. Right beside our front door, on the outside, is a clip to hold papers in case someone wants to leave a note at your apartment. Perfect! I put the papers in that clip and they stay there every day. If I am ready to have the kids over then I put the green sign up, but if we are gone or the girls are napping or I am cooking dinner, then I put the red sign up. It has worked wonders and the kids love it. Especially our non-reader friends.

I had the pleasure of hearing Mya give her testimony last week. It was amazing! The neighbor kids were over and everyone was coloring at our dining room table. I overheard a conversation about the devil. I never stay very far away from my girls if the neighbor kids are there so I can intervene with their conversations if I need to. Well, I didn't have to intervene much. I asked them, "What are you all talking about?" One girl told me that she was telling the group that if they say the word 'devil' that he will come into your house and scare you. I started to correct that statement and share some truth when Mya sat up real tall and said, "You just need Jesus in your heart and then you don't have to be scared of the devil." Then she proceeded to tell them that one day she was driving in the car with her mommy and asked if she could have Jesus in her heart. She told them that her mommy pulled the car over and prayed a prayer with her and now she has Jesus in her heart. The room went silent.  What a testimony!