Life Is Good

Doesn't this picture just warm your heart??  My baby isn't such a baby anymore.  She can almost reach the sink to wash her hands.  She can put her shoes on by herself.  She can open doors without my assistance.  She is almost four.  Where has the time gone?  I was able to spend the day with my girls today and it was wonderful.  Dan came down with the flu virus on Thursday night and has been down for the last two days.  So this weekend has become a "girls" weekend.  Luckily I started the morning with an eight mile run (very early), which gave me the energy to be with them all day.  And I released some extra endorphins, which is always helpful.  Our day was full of a lot of activity, but I found myself laughing and enjoying the girls a lot.  I also found myself really missing my husband.  That companionship and the comforts of parenting the kids together just wasn't the same today.  Hopefully he will be better tomorrow.  He said he has a super busy week coming up so he needs his energy back.  I am so proud of that man!  He is building his business well and is close to getting his first office and office manager. 

Mya started soccer last week for the first time ever.  Can I just tell you that I am so excited to be a "soccer mom."  I have had dreams of being a sports mom and it is finally coming true.  She loves running so I am hoping this might be a good sport for her.  Basketball didn't pan out to be her favorite thing.  She was scared of handling the ball and it wasn't fun for her.  It is all about trial and error at this age.  I am proud of her for trying another new thing even though basketball was a tougher experience for her.  It seems like since we have been handling her anxieties differently she is starting to face little fears one step at a time.  I went to bible study last week and Dan had an evening with the girls.  He spent a lot of extra time that night with Mya talking about her fears and made some good progress with her.  She got a new fish today, which was crazy exciting for her.  She told me that when she worries about things she will go look at her fish and feel better.  That was sweet to hear!

Smoothies are still a big part of our life.  It has been about three years that we have been making these on a daily basis.  One a day...four cups at a time.  So yummy and so good for our bellies.  I know when I go a day without one.  My body doesn't like it.  Here is my favorite recipe that I like to have as a dessert at night.  Enjoy!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Green Smoothie

 

1 cup almond milk

1 Tbsp natural peanut butter (check your ingredients list....it should only be peanuts)

2 Tbsp Cacao powder (I buy this at the Vitamin Store)

2 tsp vanilla

2 cups spinach

1 cup ice

 



Much Thanks

I just have to take a moment to thank my readers!  I have received some amazing feedback from my last post about Mya's anxiety.  I mean....some really good advice.  You have all comforted and confirmed and shared similar experiences.  It has been so encouraging.  I had a heart change the other day and have since altered the way I react to Mya.  And I have seen the benefits already to just letting her have the fears...letting her own them....and letting her feel them.  She is such a huge part of our lives and when you parent you hurt when your child hurts.  We are learning and growing with her and I am thankful for any advice given.

Let It Go

Anyone seen this movie as many times as I have?  As much as I LOVE the music, I have it heard a few too many times in our house.

One of the popular songs from this movie is called "Let It Go."  The main theme of the movie is about a sister who has ice powers and doesn't know how to control them.  But when an act of love (her sister giving her life to save her) is committed then she is released to become herself and learns how to control her gift and use it for good.  It is an amazing story of love and acceptance and empowerment and letting go of trying to control things.

I have written in previous blog entries about Mya's anxiety and our struggles with her.  She continues to have trouble with worry extensively about things.  Dan and I see her joy in life being taken away at times.  It weighs heavy on our hearts.  We have come to the point that we don't know what to do anymore.  We have tried strategy after strategy with her and nothing seems to work.

A friend of mine stopped by yesterday and witnessed Mya's anxiety.  I was encouraging Mya to do an activity that I knew she could do, but she convinced herself she couldn't.  She had real fears and I did not have the patience for them.  But boy does God rescue us when we need a rescuer.  Turns out....my friend has an older son who struggled with anxiety when he was Mya's age.  She has already been through what I am experiencing.  She knew exactly what I was feeling.  She confirmed my feelings, but told me to quit pushing.  As soon as I did, I could visually see Mya's body relax and respond with gratefulness and peace.  She hugged me and thanked me for validating her feelings and her fears....the ones that don't seem real to me but are very real in her mind.  When I stopped pushing.....she and I both let go.  This is the advice that I received:

"One thing I have learned is that she has to work through the fears with your help.  Pushing her doesn't usually help.  It just increases her anxiety and your frustration.  The harder you push the worse it becomes for both of you.  She will work through it.  Just try to back off and be patient. Teach her to learn to find comfort in God's words.  It might take years, but this is a spiritual battle taking place." 

Isn't it so cool when God puts someone in your path to teach and guide?  Meeting up with this friend was not a planned event.  She just called and showed up three minutes later. So back to the Frozen example, I kind of had a big lesson on learning to let some things go.  Fighting Mya on her fears is clearly not working.  Meeting her where she is at gives her validation and allows us to have the relationship to communicate about them and work at it...work at finding God's strength and using her gifts for good.  I believe in her and I believe that God will never leave her during this process.  Just as Elsa learned to control the negative part of her gift and have strong relationships in the end, I know that Mya will persevere and find comfort in "letting go".....whenever that may be.

Sara Bear

Recently we have recognized that Sara, our middle child, has an awesome sense of humor. She likes to make people laugh. Just the other day she played a fun joke on me. Every night at dinner, we pray for a family on one of the Christmas cards that we got at Christmas time. The girls have fallen in love with this activity. So Sara decided to color a picture of Strawberry Shortcake and place the picture in our cabinet with the Christmas cards. So when we went to pick our card for dinner we grabbed Strawberry shortcake. She thought she was so funny for being sneaky.

Today I heard her laughing hysterically when I was schooling Mya. Turns out she had a little photo session with herself on the IPad.  Too cute!

The Perfection Infection

Do you ever wonder what God will say to you when you get to heaven?  I was thinking about this question when I was running this morning.  I would hope that He would say, "Well done good and faithful servant."

I was at bible study last Tuesday evening and we were talking about a book called No More Perfect Moms by Jill Savage. She has this concept called the Perfection Infection.  Moms, especially, tend to join in on the comparison game and in the process lose self-esteem and worth.  We look to the wrong thing to give us comfort and confidence.  Comparison breeds insecurity.  And suddenly we don't like what we look like in the mirror.  One of the culprits of this is social media.  The author said that years ago we might see the Jones Family (you know, the one that looks and seems perfect) maybe once a week.  But with social media we see that family multiple times a day.  Facebook is one avenue that we discussed.  We put our best pictures and comments on Facebook.  So when one insecure mom gets on Facebook that day, she goes off feeling completely defeated.  By no means do I think that posting great pictures and comments is a bad thing.  By no means do I think that getting your hair done or wearing make up is a bad thing.  But as moms we have to develop that inner confidence so social media doesn't cause us to stumble.  Wouldn't it be great to get on Facebook and see those "perfect" pictures and know deep inside that that isn't true reality every day for that family?  And know that the life that we have is enough and good.  We unfairly compare ourselves to others, but we all struggle with similar challenges in life one way or another.  We have to change our expectations and love the "imperfect" lives that we live along with everyone else.

Our bible study leader came up with this great suggestion that we were certain she wouldn't actually do.  She challenged us to take a picture of ourselves when we wake up in the morning....no hair do and no makeup.....just our "real" selves.  And she took it a step further and challenged us to post it on Facebook.  So the next morning I woke up and checked my email.  I had a post on my page and it was a morning picture of our leader.  What!!  I might be calm, cool and collective, but I never turn down a challenge.  I am secretly kind of competitive.  I know, I know....it didn't show on the tennis court, but it does show when I play card games or board games or at my boot camp class.  I couldn't let her be the only one who posted her picture.  So I got my camera and started shooting selfies of my morning look.  I have to be totally honest and say that it took multiple shots before I was comfortable with one of them.  But looking back at those shots....they all looked the same.  I finally settled on a picture and put it on Facebook.  Again, it took me some more time before I could actually hit the "post" button to make my picture go "live."  Through this experience I realized how uncomfortable I am with outward appearance before doing my hair and putting on makeup.  And actually following through with posting a picture started to tear some of those walls down for me.  I couldn't escape it and I couldn't control who was looking at it.  I posted the "real" me and I had to be okay with it.  I looked at myself and saw the wrinkles around my eyes and crooked teeth.  But as I read everyone's comments about my picture, I realized that the word "beautiful" was used over and over again.  Most of who looked at my picture knew the real me.  They knew my heart.  They didn't look at the picture the same way that I did.  Over time I became comfortable with the picture.  It is now my profile picture....another challenge for us!  I found myself saying, "It is what it is."  If we are all honest with ourselves, we would share that we all struggle with things.  We all fall short of our own standard of excellence.  We compare our insides to others' outsides.  Or our outsides to others outsides.  But our expectations and reality should be that God has given us grace and beauty in an imperfect life.  I wake up each morning looking like the "real" picture below.....and Dan rolls over and calls me beautiful.  I can't help but think and know that God calls me that and so much more!

It is fun to feel pretty and make myself up for Dan on date nights.  It is great to show the kids that I care about my outsides too.  They need to see me taking care of myself and having confidence in my looks.  But they also need to grow up seeing how imperfect I am as their mom.  And knowing that it is completely okay.  As Jill Savage puts it so eloquently in her book, "Take off insecurity, tell yourself that you are enough, and put on confidence by embracing your strengths and your weaknesses."  I might have some wrinkles around my eyes, but there is wisdom that came from getting those wrinkles!

Two different pictures below......but the same heart.

Sweet Encounter

Today I took the girls to Mansfield to run some errands.  We stopped at Panera for breakfast.  I wanted them to be full and have lots of energy to keep up with me because we had a lot of stores to go to.  While we were in Panera, the girls met a very special friend.  They wanted to sit by the fire and they were positioned by an older gentleman.  He started talking to them as they ate their breakfast and they grew more and more comfortable with him.  He was telling quite a story about how he had a heart attack in 1994 and the medical staff burned his vocal cords when they put the tube down his throat.  He had a really scratchy voice and wanted the kids to know why he sounded different.  I asked him more questions the longer we sat there and learned that his wife had left him and he had no kids.  It was a sad story.  But he was friendly and had a very positive attitude about his life.  I asked him if he was upset about his vocal cords and he firmly said, "No!  They saved my life!"  It was a neat encounter.  And then we got up to leave the restaurant and said our goodbyes to the kind gentleman.  Mya and Sara stopped before we got to the door, turned around and went back to the gentleman to ask him if he knew Jesus.  Others in the restaurant heard this going on and were quite touched by the sweet, innocent question that the girls asked.  The gentleman said he did love the Lord and the girls felt so good about that.  I left the restaurant feeling like one proud mama!

Believing in Yourself

We are finally recovered from the flu virus we had last week and are functioning normal again.  It took a while to recover because I got behind on laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc.  Dan helps out with a lot of that stuff, but he was busy taking care of me and the kids when we were sick.  It was a long week of illnesses and cold, cold weather.  I am SO ready for summer.  I finally have a beautiful leg to show (minus the ugly vein) and I can't wait to wear a bathing suit with pride.  Except for the toe fungus I have going on.  Guess I need to see the foot doctor for that one.  I am not even 40 yet and I feel like there is always something that needs fixed on me.  What is that all about???

Since spring is around the corner I am trying to decide what my fitness goals will be.  Most likely I will sign up for a half marathon again, but I need to start training soon if I am going to be ready for it in time.  The girls and I have enjoyed ice skating as our exercise this winter.  Chloe especially loves it and thinks she is pretty good!  I never knew a three year old could skate quite like my baby can.

Tonight we had a wonderful date night.  I feel like the more independent the girls are becoming, the easier it is to leave them and enjoy our time together.  We saw a movie and had dinner at a great restaurant in Wooster.  I just treasure these times that I have with Dan because they are fun and meaningful and just plain healthy for our marriage.  We have eye contact and stimulating conversation and it is so refreshing.  Plus we saw a really good movie.

When we got home tonight we had a very interesting conversation with our seven year old about having faith in herself.  She is playing Upward basketball and is enjoying it, but definitely struggles with confidence.  The lack of belief in herself transfers to lack of aggressiveness or assertiveness on the court.  She has the skill, but lacks the confidence.  Funny thing is, Dan and I both dealt with the same thing as kids.  I recently had a talk with my dad about this very topic.  I was a tough one to work with, especially in high school, because I did not believe in myself.  I played tennis and I played it well.  In fact, I knew I had some serious skill.  I was good.....during practice.  But as soon as I walked on the court to play a match, I lost mentally and actually lost the game.  I had a tremendous record of losses.  I rarely, if ever, won a match.  I remember playing a match against a girl who broke her arm and had to play with her non-dominant hand.  And she still beat me.  It was humiliating. It took me until my senior year to make the varsity team.  And even when I made the team, I played second doubles because I couldn't win.  I had the skill to play number one singles, but never reached that goal.  I just had no self esteem and it showed on the court.  Dan played basketball.  He had skill and I have personally seen him play as an adult....he is pretty darn good.  But he had zero aggressiveness when he played in high school.  He just couldn't go anywhere with the game because he didn't believe in himself.  So here we are, two parents who struggled with this, telling our seven year old to start believing in herself now.  Because it is an important skill to learn early on.  We are doing everything we can to build her up and help her see her potential.  We are telling her not to make the same mistakes that we did as kids.  We had her attention.  She seemed to understand what we were saying.  But how will she transfer that to her life?  We told her to let God show her how much potential she has.  We told her to believe that she is something special.  I hope she truly did hear what we said.  I hope she gets it.  This is something we certainly will commit to praying for her as she grows and develops.  In fact, what a great prayer to have for all the kids.  I pray that they learn early on how much potential and goodness they have!

As I have been researching this topic, I came across a beautiful poem that gave me some inspiration and extra thoughts on how to work with our kids on this topic. But one of the most important things I learned from talking to my dad recently, was that life is about learning how to live in the present.  The past is gone and the future is unseen, so living in the present just makes sense.  We need to embrace where we are in life, forgive past burdens and stop worrying about the future that may or may not happen.  Good life lessons that I can pass on to my kids!

Believe in your heart that 

something wonderful is about to happen.

Love your life.

Believe in your own power,

and in your own potential,

and your own innate goodness.

 

Wake every morning with the awe of just being alive.

Discover each day the magnificent,

awesome beauty in the world.

Explore and embrace life 

in yourself and in everyone

you see each day.

Reach within to find your own specialness.

 

Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to

the potential of each new day

Don't be afraid to admit your less than perfect; 

this is the essence

of our humanity.

 

Let those who love you help you.

Trust enough to be able to take.

 

Look with hope to the horizon of today 

for today is all we truly have.

Live this day well.

 

Let a little sun out as well as in.

Create your own rainbows.

Be open to all your possibilities,

all possibilities and miracles.

 

Always believe in miracles.

~Author Unknown~